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PLUS/MINUS: Artemi Panarin Is the King of the North (Also, Stereolab)

July 21, 2019, 12:13 PM ET [248 Comments]
James Tanner
Arizona Coyotes Blogger • RSSArchiveCONTACT
Plus / Minus is the official hockey statistic of the town of Stayner Ontario, and the name of Pierre McGuire's craftbrew IPA

MINUS: RACISM. You gotta draw the line somewhere!

PLUS: The entire RFA class remains unsigned and what that means is an exciting rest-of-the-off-season.

MINUS: When the Blue Jays suck and your fantasy baseball team also sucks.

MINUS: When you find yourself about to countdown till hockey season only to realize you're wishing away the rest of the summer.

MINUS: If there is a bigger embarrassment to the NHL than Theo Fleury? Guy reminds me Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys, just without the grade 10.

Dude used to be one of my favorite players. Now he's tweeting "it's hot so global warming can't be real" like it's 2009 and he just learned to own his first lib.

I mean, if you're going to be an insufferable promoter of the anti-brain agenda, at least get some material from this decade.

PLUS: Jaromir Jagr - we still love him.

PLUS: Artemi Panarin. Not only is he the NHL's most under appreciated super-star and a top ten player, he also spoke out this week against Putin. Someone needs to do it, and Panarin is our new favorite player. Sure, Ovechkin can chug a beer, but he's a bootlicking collaborator.

Panarin rules!

Talk about balls! I'd love to see more athletes do this kind of thing. We no longer live in a time when a person can be famous and not speak about politics.

PLUS: Me and the misses are in the grocery store, and a song comes through the P.A and our daughter asks "Hey Mom, is this Duran Duran."

People complain about millennials, but we raised our kids right.

Proudest moment ever.

PLUS: Not to be outdone, later that day my son explained to me that Gatorade comes from "a gator's lower-body line."

PLUS: Stereolab. I included a song above for your enjoyment. If they are not your favorite band of all-time, check them out and send me a thank-you letter at a later date!

PLUS: Gatorade Zero - that is, sugarless Gatorade. Ever since this came out, I've been a Gatorade fiend. Even dumped a bottle over my head after I cooked a perfect steak, and again after having relations.

PLUS: Old Tanner's book which is NSFW and which I created in collaboration with my son (he did most of the drawings that aren't penises) is now available in the kindle library for free. I will also tell you the title and encourage you to buy it ($2.99) if you DM me.

PLUS: The movie Identity Theft with Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman (who is in like every good comedy movie) is hilarious.

MINUS: I wanted to like the ending of Game of Thrones. I just assumed that we live in a time where people cry if they don't get exactly what they want, and most of the time it seems pretty presumptuous to tell an artist that their art should be changed to your preference.

But you could tell when HBO ran out of source material. The final three seasons needed at least twice as many episodes to sell what happened as plausible in any way. One episode for the Night King - one? - and then more episodes after?

I could go on for roughly nine hours, but I probably have nothing original to add and if you care you are probably just as annoyed. One thing above all made no sense though: you have a guy whose power is to take over the minds of animals. You have three dragons. How do you leave this on the table? That's breaks Chekhov's first rule of writing. Come on!

Gave me a renewed interest in the books though, so let's hope those are better.

I haven't seen anyone screw anything up this bad since Theo Fleury took the GED test.

MINUS I am at least 34% convinced that we live in the upside down.

PLUS: Reno 911. The greatest show of all time!

MINUS: Can't believe Ron Francis got the Seattle job over me.
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