Have you ever seen Team America: World Police? They have a Matt Damon puppet, and all he says is, "Matt Damon". But what he means every time he says it is different. You need to listen to the sound of his voice and observe the situation the puppet is in to understand the intended meaning. Sometimes the most stupid and simple things are the funniest.
Matt Damon!
Oilers defenseman Andy Sutton is has been suspended indefinitely by the NHL for his hit yesterday on Alex Ponica...Pinuca...Panago...that Russian forward from Carolina. Sutton is a "repeat offender" and he could easily be facing a ten game suspension because of it. I've watched video of the hit about 12 times now, and I'm still not understanding why he was suspended at all. He's tall and big, so everything he does is a head shot. The Oilers might as well bench him for the rest of the season, because he's gonna get suspended constantly because of his size. No, he didn't leap into the hit. No, he wasn't targeting the head of that Russian guy. But whatever...he's not a Bruins forward, so he's going to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. The "new" NHL is about as enjoyable as New Coke. Bring back Wagon Train!
Matt Damon?
Edmonton-area media were making me angry today. We all saw yesterday's Oilers/Hurricanes game. The Oilers are playing terrible. They've sucked for about five weeks now. If the season ended today, we'd say they looked good for the first half and terrible for the second half. But the season isn't even half over yet. So does this mean things should stay the same, or should management be doing what they can to help fix the team's play before the season is lost? The right answer is obvious to everyone, right?
Well, everyone but the vast majority of Edmonton-area media people, apparently.
What kinds of crap did I hear today? "Just ride it out. It's a young team. Highs and lows will happen. The Oilers have no one they can deal. Other teams have nothing to give up that the Oilers would want." Blahdy fricken' blah.
"Just riding it out" is something the Oilers have been attempting to do for about the last five seasons. We (the fans) are tired of it. There comes a point when you have to quit hoping for a better future, and instead be willing to make a better future happen now. Why wait till the Oilers are 15 points back in the standings and the season is lost before admitting there are roster issues and holes that need filling?
The Oilers are not a "young team". It just so happens the best players - Nuge, Eberle and Hall - are young. But actually the Oilers have a number of veterans and there are a few younger teams in the NHL this season. The fact the season is starting to suck isn't the fault of the kids; it's the veterans who are not doing well enough. Age shouldn't be used as an explanation, because it's a misguided assessment.
"Highs and lows happen." True. But the mark of a good team is having the ability to rebound after a loss and not to go into lengthy losing skids. Oilers coaches should be going crazy right now. The players should be playing mad; motivated hockey. Know how things appear to most of us? Like the team doesn't care that much. That's concerning.
The Oilers most certainly have players "they can deal". I heard lots of stupidity today on talk radio about the Oilers not having the assets to land, for example, someone like Brett Burns. Of course they could get someone that good if they wanted to. But it would mean moving a Hall or an Eberle, and no one wants that. Keep in mind the Oilers were playing great defensively when 5/6 guys like Barker and Potter were on the roster. Would you deal Ales Hemsky to get Cam Barker? Of course not, because it's overkill. 29 other teams would deal you a Barker for Hemsky every day of the week. So don't tell me the Oilers don't have the assets needed to bring in better defense. Almost anyone they'd bring in would be an improvement.
"Other teams have nothing to give up." Another lie. Do you think a team that is deep with defense and is desperate to make the playoffs like the Toronto Maple Leafs would be unwilling to move someone on D for a forward like Hemsky or Gagner? Of course they would. They'd want a deal that would seem like a TO win. Fine. Let them "win". Keep in mind the Oilers have players they can bring up like Linus Omark or Teemu Hartikainen (when they both get healthy). Heck, Gilbert Brule played like an NHL'er once, and the Oilers are carrying 14 forwards now. Or if the Oilers need size, bring up Tyler Pitlick. It's not 2008 when the Oilers had no options.
TO is rumored to be willing to part with Cody Franson. Ron Wilson doesn't love him. On the Oilers, he'd be a top pairing guy right now. So give up Hemsky and a 2nd round pick. Overpay for Franson. It's the Oilers dealing from a position of strength to the Leafs, who would be dealing from a position of strength. It's a win-win. Quit being so chicken to help your team. Maybe moving a vet would shake up all the other vets who are under-performing right now. Worse case scenario? You deal Hemsky, and we get to play Hemsky-lite (Omark) for the rest of the year. We'd survive. We certainly wouldn't be doing worse than we are now.
Edmonton-area media are talented, but they are so far up the Oilers butt, it's sad to watch. Objectively-speaking, no one in the media should be ho-hum about the Oilers situation. They should be pulling out their hair and be asking really tough questions directed at Oilers management. Do any of you remember back in the day when the media was there to keep people honest? Now the media is so scared to do or say the wrong thing (and risk being ignored by the team for it) that they suck up instead of holding feet to the fire. There is a reason why people read bloggers more than reporters now: Bloggers have balls; the media doesn't.
Get tough or go home.
Matt...Damon...
I heard the Oilers response to the mess that was the Carolina game was to move all the left-wingers to new lines. Sounds like Sam Gagner will be playing the next game with Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Jordan Eberle. Worst idea in history. Let's take two offensively gifted forwards who struggle defensively because of their age, experience and size, and put them on a line with perhaps the most defensively-challenged and undersized forward on the team. Yep, that will work.
Know who I would put with Nuge and Ebs? Ben Eager. Remember back to Gretzky and Kurri playing on a line with Dave Semenko? He wasn't there to get points, believe me. He was there to keep players safe and to make room on the ice for Gretz to operate. Eager is not exactly a clown either...way more gifted than Semenko was. Let Eager run people over and do the digging in the corners. And then, give this line more than the 3 minutes of 5-on-5 ice time. The Oilers have been under-using Nuge and over-playing Horcs and Belanger. Check the NHL scoring leaders and explain to me why that is happening.
I don't mind Smyth/Horcoff/Hemsky. I don't mind Paajarvi/Lander/Petrell. The more I see lame play from several Oiler vets, the more I love everything Ryan Jones and appreciate what he does. Gagner's game is coming around, so I'm not going to say he's not talented and can't help. But he belongs playing with greasy hard-workers like Jones to cover up for his defensive deficiencies. Eric Belanger is coming around offensively, so a Gagner/Belanger/Jones line would have potential. But Gagner/Nuge/Eberle? Brutal.
Matt Damon, Matt Damon, Matt Damon!!!
- Taylor Hall is not coming back yet, even though he says there is no pain in his left arm. The Oilers and Hall want to be careful with respect to his return. There still is a chance he comes back on Saturday against the Flames.
- Linus Omark is healing up and will be back playing in the AHL before too long. If he decides to go back to play in Sweden, he has to do so before January 31. I'm think the Oilers will either send him up or deal him before they'd let him return to the SEL. Actually I'm thinking if Magnus Paajarvi can't get his game going, Omark will come up and Paajarvi will go down when Omark is healthy.
- Colten Teubert will be in for the suspended Andy Sutton. Too bad they couldn't clone Teubert and put him in for the non-suspended Theo Peckham and Jeff Petry. Maybe the Oilers will get lucky and Peckham will do something to get suspended. He could always run Ryan Miller. I know the Oilers aren't playing against the Sabres any time soon. But plane tickets aren't expensive. Send him to Buffalo, let him run Miller, watch him get suspended. Oilers defensive sadness solved.
- Nikolai Khabibulin will start in goal on Friday, and I suspect Devan Dubnyk will get the Saturday game in the back-to-back. If the Oilers allow themselves to go 1-4-1 during their six-game homestand that they should have went 5-1 or 6-0 during I think I'll throw myself down the stairs repeatedly.
- TSN will have the Oilers/Avs game on Friday. Why doesn't the NHL just allow TSN to do all the games? They are superior at covering all sports.
Matt Damon
I am on Twitter: @rdcloutier
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • 
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