***You'll have to pardon me tonight, but this blog is going to take on a rambling, weaving, stream-of-consciousness approach to Tuesday night's events. Bear with me if you'd like, because things might get weird. If you'd rather bail out of the canoe and swim to shore, no hard feelings. I'll catch you next time around.***
Technically, I've been a fan of the Edmonton Oilers since birth. There are pictures of me in cribs and strollers wearing Oilers gear, which means that for any mistakes that my parents might have made during my upbringing, at least they had the good sense not to make me a Calgary Flames fan. I suppose I'll always be grateful to them for that, although it's getting harder and harder to justify both their decisions, and my own, when it comes to my NHL fanhood. Perhaps you can relate after tonight's 4-0 loss to the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Make no mistake, fellow die-hard Oiler fans, casual followers of the sport, and morbid observers of another fanbase's tragedy -- I'm not going anywhere. I've always been a fan of the Oilers and always will be, right up until my dying day. However, my relationship with the team has become harder and harder to justify over the years. The time, money, and emotional commitment to the Oilers simply can't be explained, and I'm often asked why I remain so loyal to a team that never rewards my faith or diligence.
I date quite a bit, and pride myself on being able to preemptively strike down a potential relationship before things turn sour. For instance, I took a girl out for lunch during a first date a few months ago, and on our way to the restaurant she asked, "Can I just have the cash instead?" To the best of my knowledge, she wasn't a prostitute or a homeless person, so the date came to an abrupt end. There wasn't a second date, and we were both able to walk away without any hard feelings or wasted time.
However, when it comes to the Oilers, I feel the organization has been asking, "Can I just have the cash instead?" for the last five seasons, and I'm starting to feel like a sucker for going along with a sixth. I know things aren't going to end well, but the loyalty that's been built up over the last three decades -- mixed with my own stubborn optimism that all this pain will be worth it -- has me convinced that I need to stick it out and just go along for the ride, regardless of the pain it causes day after day, night after night.
I suppose I'm just tired. Tired of the endless excuses, the empty promises, and the constant reminds of a bright future that's waiting just around the corner. I just don't see it. Like many Oiler fans, my patience has worn about as thin as the hair at the top of my ever-expanding forehead, and it's been replaced by the frustration I feel each time I look at my ever-receding hairline. Unfortunately, there are a number of potential scapegoats, but few people who are deserving of any actual blame for the problems that have compounded during the last seven years.
I have reached the point where I'll have to stop you dead in your tracks if you try to convince me that things are getting better. The Oilers were 9-3-2 through the first 14 games of the 2011-12 season, 6-5-3 through the first 14 games of the 2012-13 season, and currently 3-9-2 through 14 games this season. Don't tell me things are getting better, because they're not. If they were getting better the team would be producing a more consistent effort that resulted in more wins, but that's just not the case. We've passed the point of moral victories or signs of improvement. It's time for results.
No, die-hard Oiler fans who have had to endure the latest rebuild don't really care what the shot totals or faceoff numbers look like. We're tired of hearing about how remarkable the other team's goaltender played, and we're definitely tired of an opposing team's fans taking over our rink and celebrating another blowout loss at our expense. Our pride won't allow us to endure this any longer, and our patience won't extend to another season in the cellar, only to allow us to acquire another small, oft-injured, underachieving player who might be fantastic someday, just not today.
If this was a relationship, we would kicked the Oilers to the curb and charged them with abuse long ago. We would have restraining orders in place that restricted the team from coming within 150 feet of us. We would have burned everything that reminded us of them, despite whatever good times we might have enjoyed once upon a time. Friends would slap remote controls out of our hands whenever we attempted to watch the Oilers, claiming that it's for our own good. "But I love them!" we'll cry, and our friends would simply say, "That might be true, but they don't love you back."
That might sound a little dramatic, but it's a fitting analogy when you consider all the times you've had your groin kicked and your heart ripped out by the Oilers. There's no escaping this team. I'm in too deep. It's an irrational, inexplicable relationship, and one that I've endured for far too long without even a glimmer of hope for the future. How does it get better? How do things turn around? At this point there are too many problems to even know where to begin, so we'll save it for another time, when the pain subsides a little and the wounds incurred by the latest beatdown aren't so fresh.
Unfortunately, we have three days to live with this. The Oilers don't take the ice again until Saturday night, when the Red Wings come to town to beat them in front of a national audience. That gives us three days to dissect the roster, lay the blame on any number of people from the management team to the defensive corps, and endure another fresh round of trade rumors and analysis from the talking heads in Toronto. We haven't even reached November 1st, and already this season has taken on the feeling of a funeral procession. For Oiler fans, the dearly departed is all too familiar.
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