If you haven’t heard there was another hockey incident in Winnipeg this past weekend. It didn’t involve an NHL player allegedly doing something in a social setting. It was not about a contract extension for a recently hired coach who went 9-3-1 before the Olympic break. Nor was it about news of the other players who many fans would hope contracts are soon offered. Frolik, anyone?
No this was another sad example of the craziness that comes with hockey. Last week it was about two 8 year-old teams form Winnipeg in a tournament in Fargo. A parent charged the dressing room of the opposing team after the game, upset with something and apparently ready to take action. Fists flew and one team was kicked out of the tournament but both were from Winnipeg.
This latest episode of craziness can be seen here:
The problem is not simply the behaviour of parents, coaches, fans or officials. It goes beyond the immediate spectators and participants. It goes right to the top of hockey food chain in Canada- that being Hockey Canada. They are the ones that try and sell the dream of professional hockey and sadly they are the ones best equipped to begin an end to it too, but don’t hold your breath.
The fact, and it is indisputable, that less than .01% of kids in Candaa who play hockey ever make a meaningful career out of it in either the NHL or AHL should be the first thing parents and children learn when registering for hockey.
The math is out there and it’s not my own so don’t expect a breakdown but if you are interested go read this:
Selling the Dream. Ken Campbell’s fine piece of work has more than enough information to tell you that when registering your kid for hockey you are simply doing an early ‘beer league training camp’.
But that’s not what the powers that be in the hockey world would have you believe. No this industry needs parents to believe. It needs parents to think there’s a chance.
The product of this pseudo chance is what we see again and again at hockey rinks all across the country, and lately it is happening a lot in Winnipeg. Sure the winter sucks and everyone is grumpier than Scrooge but that’s no excuse for the escalating severity of events.
Below is my personal list of experience I have seen or been part of as a bystander.
-A parent from my team accosting officials before they could enter dressing room.
-Family member who had to help escort officials out of an arena as a player and his parents -waited to find them after the game.
-Accusations towards coaches about treatment of players over when they should or should not be on the ice.
-A parent arguing with a player on opposing team who was in the penalty box by the stands.
-A coach being tossed for verbally berating a young official (think 15)
-Breaking up fights between teammates over play in a game.
-Hearing your name as part of rumour and innuendo in the community
-Fights in hallways, concourses
And more and on, and more and on, and more and on it goes…
As for the Southdale incident there were problems that a spectator’s phone did not record. Officials had to be escorted off the ice to their locker rooms. One mother shoulder checked an official off the ice saying ‘that’s what happened to my son and you didn’t call it’. Another pair of officials had to escorted out of the rink for their own protection after a game. It’s not easy officiating a game when so many have so much riding on it, no matter how delusional those reasons may be.
I stopped coaching after 6 years of doing two teams a year because I was becoming unglued from reality. I’ve taken all the courses, I’m known in my community and have a lot of friends because of hockey and nothing seemed to keep me grounded when I needed grounding anymore. It just became too much, all of it. In all fairness I think I’ve only been ‘that guy’ once according to my very honest wife.
The problem now being this behaviour is being justified in the strangest of ways. People are ‘protecting’ their kids and making sure everything is ‘fair’ or ensuring that people are ‘accountable’.
The ‘code’ has spilled over to the stands and fans.
The answer for all this, at least the quick response from governing bodies is to make one person in every family take this:
Respect in Sport This program is not without merits but it is not designed to prevent what we have today. It’s a program that was once called ‘Speak Out’ to help deal with the potential issues of inappropriate behaviour by coaches or other influential people in a hockey player’s life. It was the response from the fall out of the Graham James tragedies. It’s evolved but the madness of minor hockey has evolved much quicker and a 90-minute online seminar is not going persuade anyone from the actions we see now.
These parenting and/or entitlement behaviours are rooted much deeper and no online course is going to change that. Ask anyone who has children with a significant age spread between them as to what the parents of the younger child’s peers are like. They act far more entitled than anything I have ever seen before and it spills over into schools and community sports programs. It’s their way or you’ll hear about it and god forbid their child is not perfect in your eyes too.
I’ve seen enough kids come through my teams over the years to know a coach of children is a chameleon. You have to be something different for every child because they all respond differently to a coach and sport. Some you will get through to, others you won’t because in many cases it’s not just you influencing them as parents and siblings are too. We say sports are about fun, but that’s hardly the way kids see it, as coaches and parents undermine that idea very easily and quickly.
We may want respect in sport but we don’t show our kids how to respect
THE sport.
In hockey it starts with try-outs, an attempt to place kids with equal abilities together. The goal is to make sure teams are fair and kids have an equal chance of success. The reality is that parents see the process as separating the wheat from the chaff. So do the coaches. If I had a nickel for every story I’ve heard about conveners and coaches stacking teams amongst the old boys group I’d be as overpaid as some NHL players. The dream is alive, it’s beating slowly in background because at age 8 Johnny has his whole hockey future ahead of him. A parent would never think his child is not part of the .01% right? Because of that improbable belief they’ll work the system to find out every iota of information they can and play people against one another for their child to get an advantage. Friendships fall apart over this stuff.
The parents who chase the dream put their kids in power skating lessons, stick handling clinics and now the latest trend private yoga sessions. It goes on and on and that’s during the season. After the regular season there is spring hockey, ‘elite’ summer leagues and of course all the ‘schools’ to make Johnny better, so he can make ‘that team’ in the fall. Every year the cycle continues, the preying on the dream by enterprising people goes on, and on and on multiplied by thousands of kids. It’s an industry based on a lottery ticket chance of success.
Respect the sport.
Pretty easy to see why folks get upset at a coach, a ref or another parent- those figures are simply standing in the way of a parent’s time and investment, and of course the dream for little Johnny.
We’re not teaching kids the value of recreation or teamwork, we’re not teaching them about anything to do with the core values of life through sport. The end result our kids are learning: to succeed you have to stop at nothing and do everything to exclusion if you want to be an NHL player or simply play the sport, and it starts early.
The answer to fix this epidemic of behaviour from our governing bodies is the Respect in Sport program. It’s not enough. It’s not going to work. Where is the incentive to change? A 90-minute session online has no clout, no deterrence and unfortunately no credibility in the real world.
We as parents, fans, and spectators should all be embarrassed that minor hockey has come to this. We should all have an interest in making this problem disappear but somehow as a collective there is resistance to being held to account for our behaviour. Oh the irony.
We want to ensure coaches are held to account for unfair ice time or favourable line mates for some players. We want officials to call a fair game and all the penalties and we want to be able to speak our minds whenever we feel free, no matter when or where. But no, we don’t want to be held to account.
It’s time to shame them. And sadly the only way to get to this point is to use the children as the carrot. If you want your kid to play and you have stepped out of line then you are up on the wall with a listing of your transgression(s). Like a wanted poster or a Shame the Johns campaign. If you are not familiar with the latter it was an attempt used by many jurisdictions to shame those who engaged in the use of prostitution. See below.
One person who has taken up the task of discussing and finding ways that go beyond a simple course is station boss at local radio station
Power 97. Today while filling in on the afternoon show
Matt Cundill talked about how there should be a YouTube hall of shame and that rinks should have video cameras and spectators encouraged to use smartphones all in an effort to centralize the gathering spot to view offenders.
Cundill even suggested a $1000 bond paid at registration and each time you are out of line a $100 is subtracted. If you lose your all your money your child is then kicked out or the team pays. Sound extreme? Perhaps, but ask yourself again if your child is the official in that environment learning the game, learning to fill a vital role in the game of hockey as we know it. You can’t play without the refs even in beer league.
Speaking of beer league, this is where the most heinous of offences I’ve been connected to happened. In this instance my oldest son’s grade five teacher, who is a junior scout in his spare time and referee, was the victim of another overzealous player.
Ref Assaulted He was assaulted in a men’s beer league game because a player did not like the call. It was a brutal attack, which had the player eventually kicking and stomping on his head. The man has not been the same since, potentially suffering brain damage but more the emotional stress and suffering after. Students have noted he is far from the engaging person and teacher he started out as.
What you won’t read in this story is that Guimond was well known to police. He had a history of violence and it went back to his youth according to a police officer who spoke to me under anonymity. Sports are supposed to be free of this stuff but in many cases, particularly hockey, they are a dumping ground for those who need to get their aggression out. A place where parents often leave their kids for others to mind, all the while undermining that very authority and structure they pay for with their actions away from the team, or while watching it.
At the highest level of the game we are seeing a revolution of sorts from the old days. An increasing number of fans have no time for enforcers wasting roster spots and valuable cap space on the teams they cheer. They are looking to see the game played at its highest level with skill and creativity. The fans are smarter now, more versed in nuances of the game, and they see that face-punching does NOT lead to wins, points or much of anything. They want it gone. Yet down in the roots, the beginning stages of hockey it’s spilling over into the stands, the hallways, the dressing rooms and beyond. We’re asking kids to play a fast, dangerous game and officials to keep it safe yet we’re doing nothing ourselves to uphold that standard.
If you want accountability look in the mirror first then try and respect the sport for what it is: a game, not an investment to wealth and stardom for little Johnny. Just like fighting in hockey, that investment doesn’t add up and it’s high time parents, coaches and everyone else clued in.
Winnipeg Jets Blogger •Winnipeg Jets Writer • 
Join the Discussion:
»