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G76 Oilers vs Sharks: Stockholm Syndrome

April 1, 2014, 1:58 PM ET [243 Comments]
Matt Henderson
Edmonton Oilers Blogger • RSSArchiveCONTACT
Don’t even pretend that you don’t like it, you disgusting wretch. You can feign all you want that this pain bothers you but deep down you want more of it. Throw your jersey, you’ll buy another. Start a Facebook group petitioning to oust Lowe, you’ll keep buying tickets. Tell your family how sick you are of seeing the Oilers get dominated game in and game out, you’ll be watching tonight.

Should you be disgusted with the effort and effectiveness of the Oilers? Most definitely. What did you do to deserve this mess? You paid for your tickets, you bought the HD Sports Cable Package, you own a Patrick O’Sullivan Jersey that you’re too ashamed to wear in public. And for all the money you’ve shelled out and all of the emotional hell you’ve been put through all you have to show for it is the promise that things will get better. It’s tough.

It’s tough because things aren’t getting better. The Oilers are getting decimated on a nightly basis and Wins are held together purely with thumbtacks and rubber bands…and mystifyingly good goaltending. If you are old enough to remember the Oilers of the late 90’s to early 2000’s your Oilers are a hard working fast skating bunch of guys playing 5-10% better than they had any right to be playing. These Oilers are highly touted offensive stars with more skill than brains and playing worse than anyone ever expected.

Even though we both know you really will replace that sweater you threw on the ice or keep watching games, I don’t fault anyone for showing their emotion right now. It’s good. The Oilers can ignore your Boos, they’re used to it, but it’s impossible to ignore billboards outside their office and their logo tossed to the ice like common trash. I get what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to affect some change. This process has been out of your control for a long time and you agreed to it all under the assurance of progress. Now your trust has been abused and all you want is to make things go back to the way they were when you paid full price for an entertainment product that at least made an honest effort to entertain you.

Not everyone is ok with the Jersey toss as I am. They don’t see it as a way for passionate fans to gain some agency in the direction of the club. Take Jay Brown, for instance, who decided to take an ad out in the Journal. Was it a day too early for April fools? I wish that were the case but his remarks below appear to be genuine.

Dear Oilers,

I would like to apologize on behalf of your true blue fans. It was with no small amount of shame that we witnessed people throwing Oiler’s jersey(s) onto the ice. Please know that real fans in this city would never do such a thing.

Buying a jersey in a store is not the same as earning the right to wear it in the NHL, and those that would disparage a symbol of Edmonton’s pride clearly don’t understand the depth of their betrayal.

We had the greatest player ever, we owned the Stanley Cup. This gave us such a sense of entitlement that we declared ourselves The City of Champions. In the past twenty-five years we’ve had to learn some hard lessons about humility, and about what a real City of Champions might be. It is not a city with fans that cheer when we win, but throw our jerseys on the ice when we lose.

We are all feeling the frustration, and patience may be in short supply, but we’re all on the same team and we all want the same thing – to win.
Please keep trying your best, and we will try harder to be the fans you deserve.

Sincerely,
Jay Brown
Canadian


Listen, I’m not angry with Jay Brown, Canadian, either. How can you be angry with someone clearly suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. This man has been brainwashed by his captors into thinking some very twisted things. This poor man needs serious help from trained psychiatric professionals. I’m not going to suggest electro-shock therapy could be an answer, but I wont discount it either.

Here are a few things that really stand out to me as I read that piece.

1) The entire act of apologizing on behalf of “True” fans makes me want to vomit.

2) Real fans are allowed to show displeasure with the Oilers. This isn’t the People’s Republic of Korea.

3) If the Oilers logo is still the symbol of this city’s pride then the disparaging of it didn’t come from the fans, it came from the players wearing it.

4) The only people who should feel betrayed are the ones who paid for season tickets or were previously the employed as the Head Coach of the squad.

5) Edmonton didn’t name itself the City of Champions because of the success of their sports teams. It was in reference to the way the city came together after a Tornado killed 27 people in 1987. Frankly I’m disgusted with the brainwashed Jay Brown, Canadian for suggesting it is a testament to our entitlement.

6) And this is the doozy. We are already more than the fans the Oilers deserve. We, you, fill the seats and sell out the building, buy the jerseys (to throw wherever we damn well feel like), and watch them on TV religiously. No team that has missed the playoffs for nearly a Decade deserves fans so passionate.

LINEUPS

OK. Oilers are dropping like flies. Jones is out for the year, Gazdic is having season ending shoulder surgery, and Ference has a partially torn pectoral. The squad is in complete disarray and the line combinations are getting comically filled with AHL talent as Will Acton has been called up. What could go wrong?

The Oilers offered Amateur Tryouts to Mitch Holmberg, Greg Chase, and Josh Winquist. This prevents them from having deals that officially start this year but they can start playing pro hockey. They also assigned Jujhar Khaira to the AHL after his junior season ended. So it’s a busy day for the kids whose CHL years have ended.

Hall RNH Eberle
Lander Gagner Perron
Smyth Gordon Pitlick
Hendricks Acton Larsen

Klefbom Schultz
Marincin Petry
Fraser Belov

Scrivens

OILERS KEYS TO SUCCESS

1) Remember What You Did Last Time? Yeah, don’t do that.

2) Food Poisoning. If the Sharks get a serious case of food poisoning there is a real shot that things can be evened up.

3) The Hot Gates. Leonidas stood at the hot gates (Thermopylae) and stood before the Persian army hopelessly outnumbered but was able to stave off the Persians long enough for the rest of the Greek army to prepare because of his strategic positioning. Ok, Leonidas was eventually slaughtered along with all of his men, but at least there was that cool movie 2500 years later. So there’s maybe a movie in the works if this ends the way I think it will.

Puck drops tonight at 8:30PM on Sportsnet. Game On!

Follow me on Twitter @Archaeologuy
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