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Frolik, Stafford, Tlsuty & Burmi walk into a Bar |
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Frolik, Tlusty, Stafford & Burmistrov walk into a Bar
They sit down on stool and look at the bartender. “What can I get you fellas?” asks the bartender.
Stafford the wily vet speaks up first, “Two Czech lagers, a Crown Royal and a shot of Stoli, neat, for our Russian friend, and some advice on our future contracts.”
“Oh,” says the bartender, “now I understand the long faces. You guys are all playing for jobs next year and not sure if it’s together on the Jets or somewhere else. That’s a tough position to be in.”
“JA!!!” shouts Burmistrov, “I not know why I had to leave in first place. Fans like me, girls like me and I tip well,” exclaims the young Russian.
Frolik chimes in next, “I play first line, second line and third line plus PK and all I get is a 1 year deal? What am I supposed to do, get a new agent?”
“Well that might be a good…errr never mind,” mumbles the bartender. “Now what about you, what’s your problem?” he asks Tlustty.
“I’m just a rental, or maybe not- I like Frolik and the goalie Pavelolec, we good friends when kids and his glove hand was iffy then too. Coach says he has big plans for me, GM too but there’s four- how we all play?” he responds.
“Easy there guys,” says Stafford, “we’re gonna get this sorted but it will take some time. Speaking of time, how much will I get on my next contract? Yeah I’m almost on the far side of 30 so imagine what I’m thinking. In fact I’ve got to score some goals here so I keep my pay at the same level. Arrrrgh this bloody salary cap, it’s even made the Leafs start acting smart- took 9 years but it happened.”
The bartender brings the drinks and puts them in front of the foursome. “Look fellas,” he says leaning in closer, “you might want to look at reality here and get honest. Some of you are going to have to make a concession if you want to be here next season, guys like Thorburn have a guaranteed roster spot and don’t get me started on Stuart. I’d figure out what you want and if that’s being a Jet with this group, then everyone has to make a sacrifice. Ask Kane how that worked out…oops bad example. Try Bogosi…. ummm never mind.
“Look, Chevy comes in here every now and then let me see what I can find out. He likes to vent and get some guidance as he can’t handle all the bloggers and their hashtags. It’s enough pressure not laughing at David Thomson’s suits let alone dealing with this fan base so he likes to shoot the breeze. I’ll get back to you.”
They finish their drinks and try to get Burmistrov out of there before he asks the waitress to show him the VIP room. On the way out Stafford says, “We like it here, that Byfuglien is hilarious with his track suit collection he wears away from the rink. Always want to play with that guy, thanks for your help”.
A few days later Chevy walks in and sits it right down at the end of the bar. “Chevyyyyyyyy,” says the bartender, “how are things?”
“Ugh,” he grunts, “This trade deadline really tested the ‘process’ Jimmy, give me the usual will ya?”. The bartender turns around and produces a wine glass with enough fruit in it to make Carmen Miranda jealous.
“Here ya go, drown your sorrows in a fresh white wine spritzer. So what’s the problem? Players got you down? Fans? Agents? Rival GMs?”
“A little of both really. Guy can’t win for trying here sometimes. I trade some players get back some players, add some prospects and a pick plus a couple of depth guys to help with the stretch drive and now the whole world is on me about Frolik!”
“Yeah, you still have to get that contract sorted out right?”
“I’m trying but somehow his agent keeps insisting he’s worth more than Perreault. Every time I call him up he answers with ‘Frolik-ing underrated’ or refers to him as the ‘best Kladano kid’. Walsh and his nicknames- he calls Pavelec ‘Pavelectric’- yeesh do you know how many times we’ve had to resuscitate the team from his shocking performances? Bah…never mind”.
The bartender walks over from the stack of glasses he’s just dried and says, “Look Kev, I don’t want to step where I don’t belong but four of your guys were in here a few days ago. They were pretty grim and that’s odd with you guys being in a playoff position and all”.
“Really Jimmy? Who was that?”
‘Oh no one, just Tlusty, Frolik, Stafford and Burmistrov”.
“GTFO!!! Great, just great. I told ‘Zinger to keep Burmi out of the bars if he came back here, tell me he didn’t make it to the VIP room, at least give me that”.
“No, no, no, we told him it was closed for renovations and it was quiet in here anyway”.
“Whew! Thanks Jimmy. Now how did Burmi meet up with those guys? No one was supposed to know he was in town”.
“No idea but I can tell you this they were all worried about their contracts and where they were going to play, sounds like they all want to be Jets.”
“I hope so Jimmy, I really do but I can’t afford all of them. Chipman’s brother Steve hardly sold enough cars at his Christmas year end sale to increase the payroll and these fans, they want a new screen over the rink too!”
“I know Chevy, times are tough for us all, see that tip jar over there it doesn’t fill up by itself eh?”
“Jimmy can I tell you something?”
“Sure.”
“I like those guys and want them all back but even if I had no budget or salary cap restraints I can’t keep them and Frolik’s agent isn’t helping things right now either. That’s why Burmi’s here, to put some pressure on the situation, same with Tlsuty. Sure I can’t use Burmistrov yet but we let his name slip out because Walsh thinks Frolik is our only option. I’ve been down this road with him before.
“Remember that contract with Pavelec-”
Before can finish Jimmy cuts in, “We all do Chevy, we all do”.
“Well I had no leverage, I didn’t have another goalie to go to and the KHL had money then. I need to have a back up plan so I’m not put into a corner again and that plan is Burmistrov. His deal is done in the KHL and with all their payroll problems I bet he wants no more of the headaches there. He’s younger and will be cheaper and he might be what Frolik is in three years. I’d love them both on the team but I can’t let Walsh play hardball with me and lose”.
“So why did you keep him then Chevy, why not trade him and get something back?”
“Well we want to win, our vets want to win and the weekend before the trade deadline I’ve got Ladd running around saying he doesn’t care about ‘draft and develop’- that’s my PROCESS!! Man, Jimmy that one cut me, cut me deep. Look, these guys deserve the chance to win and get into the playoffs and trading Frolik was not going to help that. However, I can’t over pay him again, especially not to Walsh and can’t lose him for nothing. Think the fans will notice if I tell them we didn’t lose a player if I bring Burmi back and Frolik walks?”
“Well I’m not going to say they’ll be fooled but the Illegal Curve guys will buy that hook, line, and sinker- you might even win an Ezzy!!!”
“What’s the old Costanza line? Oh yeah ‘It’s not a lie of you believe it’ so I guess there’s a chance. However, I’d like Stafford and Tlusty back- imagine what those guys at Arctic Ice Hockey will do if I lose Stafford for nothing?”
“Chevy if either of those guys walk you can still replace them with Burmistrov and Frolik right?”
“Sure, sure, but it’s the optics of it all, people are actually paying attention now it’s not 2011 anymore. Did you hear the outcry when beer went up by 20 cents a glass?”
Jimmy looks around and says “No, not at all…” as he rolls his eyes. “Look Chevy I get that you’re in a tough spot now. You make a few deals, you load up for the stretch drive and the playoffs, then you have to go back to square one a few months later and try and fit all the pieces back in for next season. But you’ve done all you can, you have to let the players play the games and make your decisions on what you and the coach see from here on in.
“Bringing back Burmi and letting his name slip was pretty smooth. He’d probably make a great replacement for Frolik if you can’t sign him and cost you way less. Heck, you might even get both of them and will anyone be upset if Tlsuty leaves if you can keep Stafford with those two? No way. Burmistrov was your wild card and there’s no point in hiding it when you need to play it. After what Walsh did to you the last time I’d want to stick it to him too. If the Jets are prepared to let Frolik leave how many teams in the playoffs this year are going to have the cap room for Frolik? It’s his decision get paid or get paid to win.”
“Yeah that’s what ‘Zinger was thinking. We want to keep him and he likes it here too but you have to have a back-up plan and this time I have one. Fool me once shame on me right? Chipman will rip me a new one if I let Walsh get me again, hope this works out.”
“I think you’re getting better at this game, are you feeling a bit cheered up?”
“Yep, Jimmy I am, I’m feeling like I can almost head to the cottage and put my feet up again, I’m gonna head out, thanks again it always means a lot to get some help.”
“Hang on their Chevy how about a little something you know, for the effort?”
“Sure, Jimmy this one’s on Walsh,” and Chevy tosses a fiver in the tip jar and winks.
There’s some statistical work to do before any definitive conclusion can be made about the comparison between Frolik and Burmistrov but there’s reason to do so. If Frolik can be seen as having a contract averaging over 4 million per year can the Jets get a better value with Burmistrov and should they explore that option? I’ll take a closer look at that comparison with numbers, some fancy and some not in the next piece. There’s a reason Burmistrov’s name suddenly came up in conversations and out of nowhere.
Go back and look, the mentions started with him as a trade piece then being amicable to rejoining the Jets…funny how that worked as the trade deadline neared and there was no deal yet between Walsh and Chevy.
Winnipeg Jets Blogger •Winnipeg Jets Writer • 
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