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Why I'm a Hockey Fan and Not A Fan of Teams |
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This blog has been in the making for a long time. I never quite got it where I wanted it. Yet the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to write it. I've deleted three versions of this because it never came out to my satisfaction. At one point it was a blog on the ideals of “tanking” versus simply “being terrible.” At another it was about the various bottom feeding teams and how fanbases can stick together. Now it’s about sheer apathy.
It’s a hard thing to admit. When the flames of passion burn so low only ashes remain. I've always counted myself as a fan of hockey. Not a fan of a particular team, but a fan of the sport in general. I've been watching the KHL playoffs and CSKA and SKA butcher their opponents leading up to an amazing Eastern Conference Final. I've watched Jens Lööke look extremely mediocre in three games in the Elitserien playoffs. I even got to see the stream of the Erie Otters nice send off to the regular season as Strome put on a masterful performance.
What’s missing from this? Well the NHL of course. When I wrote on this site about the Coyotes I did so because they were my Western Conference team. When I was young I picked two teams to really follow. Like most youths I was fairly dumb and picked a team with a “cool” uniform to follow. Almost as inane was the “choice” of my favourite team. The Leafs. Being born in Mississauga Ontario, it’s hard to get away from “Leafs Nation.” It’s hard to not watch them when they’re on your TV all the time. This was before the internet and streaming truly exploded into our lives. I was hooked. I loved hockey and the only hockey I could really watch was that…and maybe the Canucks or Flames if I didn’t pass out. The times of innocent fandom were great. Sadly we all grow up.
As I grew, I got more and more into following the whole league. Sure the majority of games watched were the Leafs, but I tried my best to watch other teams. The Avalanche and my favourite player of all time Joe Sakic. The Wings with Lidstrom calming the world. Ovechkin storming his way into the world with a stupid grin on his face and a heart like a maniac. Crosby and Malkin twin towering a new generation of fans. Toews and Hossa forming one of the most dominant two-way pairings in history. Doughty rising to the occasion time and again when called on. The more I watched, the less I cared about “allegiances.” The less I watched the Leafs. It’s been a weird year to be honest. I think I've only watched 25 games of the Leafs. The lowest in my life since I could tell what I was doing. More and more I find myself engrossed in European play…junior…other teams. I just…don’t care.
The internet and streaming have given us so much. If you use Centre Ice, that too gives you so much. Everything is there for the taking. We just need to extend our virtual hand and grasp it. You can watch SKA vs CSKA, in near perfect HD. You can see the OHL playoffs. You can see whatever games you want. So why…why would you watch terrible and disgusting performances by choice? Because that’s what fans do. Fans make an emotional attachment to an idea. It’s not the team. It’s the idea of the team. Sabres, Oilers, Leafs…Canes! It doesn't matter; it’s the team du jour in the dumps. You make a commitment emotionally to the idea of the team. People that stick with it, well I admire them. Yet also pity them in some way. They don’t need my pity, they don’t deserve it, but they have it. For some, it’s a quick burn. Others decades of writhing agony. Some see the light at the end of the tunnel. Some hope that the next bend will lead them to it.
For me though. There is no light. There is no dark. There’s simply nothing. I don’t care anymore. I used to think of myself as a Leafs fan. Then the more of hockey I watched I thought of myself as a Leafs enthusiast. Then I moved away. I saw more hockey. Different hockey. I could watch ANYTHING I wanted. Any game. Why? Why, would I subject myself to this nonsense? Because I’m obliged to due to some hypocritical oath? Because I was born in a region and my parents watched only them? Because we didn't have a service that provided other hockey games?
Kids these days have a chance none of us born pre-2000 ever had. They have choice. They have options. They can watch whatever they want and enjoy whatever they want. There are Boston fans creeping through the Maritimes. There are Crosby fans all across Canada. People are accessing different realms of hockey awareness. It’s a steady climb, but it’s happening.
I for one am happy. We need to shed ourselves of these labels. Of only watching one team. Of devoting lives and time to one simple pursuit. It’s the whole. It’s the game. It’s watching the best bloody players play their hearts out. Not about a sigil or denotation.
I say this because I’m a Hockey Fan. It took a while to get there, but it feels great. Am I as emotionally invested as I was when following literally two teams? No. That’s the price though. I would pay it again a thousand times.
You can probably tell why I scrapped this blog multiple times. It’s something I don’t really want to convey or even feel I've done justice to. All I know is this. It isn't simply failure that leads to apathy. It’s knowing that success is all around you and you keep your eyes shut to it. Apathy is bashing your head against the wall thinking it will make you good at math. Apathy is drinking mugs of ale to make your head clear so you can think straight. Apathy, is watching a team spend to the cap and be the worst product you’ve ever seen while doing so unintentionally.
I’m a hockey fan. I hope you can be too.
Thanks for reading. Sorry for the title. Again did it several times. Nothing came right.