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Clutching and Grabbing: The Life and Times of B.D. Gallof #9 |
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A Satire by BD Gallof
Robbery in Toronto?
Located on the 11th floor of the Air Canada Centre is the NHL's video-operation office. This hotbed of controversy and numerous hockey outrages features 20
television monitors watching every game waiting for refs to call on their services.
As we reach Air Canada Centre, we see lots of Toronto hockey fans protesting in the street.
I peer out of the bus and motion to some protesters.
“What in the blue blazes is going on?” I query.
“Eh, we are protesting. We were robbed?”
“Robbed?” I repeat, bewildered.
“Sean Hill, eh. We would have made the playoffs if the league suspended him sooner, eh!”
Ahh, the complaining about Islander defenseman Sean Hill failing the drug test and being suspended 20 games.
“But you guys actually had almost the same records as last year…when you also didn’t qualify for the playoffs,” I shake my head at them sadly. “There was only one point difference for you between this year and last year.”
“No, dude. We were robbed!”
I continue, ignoring the fans protests. There needed to be a reality check here. Toronto is one of the original six hockey teams, and fans here are rabid do-or-die. But there had to be some clarity to the Sean Hill undercurrents of a vet player who was given due process by the very parameters of a CBA that players ratified and fans were screaming for them to sign. Due process.
Imagine if Mats Sundin had some sort of blip on a test. Should he be suspended immediately without any retest, explanations, and ability for that player to show what doctors have prescribed or what they might have taken to cause an aberration for the test? Complain about the slow system that the NHL has to have hearings and appeals, but don’t complain that somehow another team who has yet to improve itself despite year after year of aged veteran free-agents brought in and unproven goalie, failed to make 92 points and assure themselves a playoff berth. Toronto’s failure is all theirs…solely. It’s just another disappointment to chew on for fans in a city that lives and breathes hockey. It sucks. But Sean Hill had nothing to do with another season of Toronto floundering.
But these points are lost on protesters.
We move on, figuring that most Toronto fans know the real score, and aren’t wasting their time complaining about issues outside their own teams dismal showing this year and last. Toronto fans deserve better play on the ice with better free agents than 30-somethings.
We enter the building and see Tie Domi in the lobby.
“You aren’t complaining about Sean Hill too?” I ask him.
Tie shakes his head, nodding to my team of hockey enforcers.
“I’m here to save hockey as well,” he says as he falls into line, entering the elevators with us.
The 11th floor elevators open and as I step out, suddenly the doors close, leaving my team of enforcers banging on the doors vainly.
I turn to a figure watching. It is NHL director of hockey operations, Colin Campbell.
“You fiend. Where’s Bettman” I demand, refusing to be flustered by the NHL’s dirty trick to remove me from my team of hockey fighters.
Colin smiles and I suddenly notice he is decked out in full hockey pads and with a stick.
“He’s in New York at league headquarters. Toronto is just the video review center.”
Doh!
Colin then smiles and comes closer.
“But I’ll be happy to help you” he continues, laughing, swinging his stick wildly.
To be continued . . .
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