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Why We Fight the Fight That's Tougher than Hockey

May 17, 2018, 6:34 AM ET [3 Comments]
Paul Stewart
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As I checked my email the other day, I saw a message entitled "thank you" from a guy named David Shaffer. When I clicked it open, the contents made my day.

Mr. Stewart,

I'm not sure if you remember me but in 2000 you sent me a letter while I was battling cancer. I was only 14 at the time and against all odds, was successful in my fight. I do not remember if I reached out to you during everything to thank you but was going through some things tonight and found your letter to me.

I just want to say thank you.

I have received a lot of well wishes in the past but want you to know that your letter has always stuck out in my mind.

I'm 32 now and have a wife, 2 sons, and 2 dogs. All 5 of them are huge pains in the ass but I would not trade them for anything.

I really didn't have a point in sending this email, other than to thank you for your time and kind words 18 years ago.

I work for the government on a Marine Corps base in NC and have done well enough in my career that last week I was given my own office. I want you to know I will be hanging your letter to me on my wall, proudly.

Thank you.

Dave Shaffer



Attached with the email was a photo of the letter I'd written Dave, along with an autographed photo of me and a Hockey Fights Cancer postcard I'd enclosed and even the envelope in which I'd sent them. All had been box-framed to be preserved and displayed together.

Dave, THANK YOU. You are the inspiration, and a reminder of why we fight a fight that's tougher than hockey and then pay forward to others whatever support we can offer in their fight. I made a simple outreach gesture -- no thank yous were necessary -- because I knew from my own experiences as a stage 3 colon cancer survivor that the outpouring of support I'd received supplemented my own will to fight. There were days when I didn't feel very strong at all, and someone's card or letter replenished the strength to face that particular day.

Every cancer case is different, but all humans have the same basic needs. One of those is the need to feel like there's a purpose to what you do. It's not about seeking validation, per se, but to make an impact on others as modest as it may be.

I have always believed in my heart and soul that there should be an addendum to the Ten Commandments. The Eleventh Commandment is that it is a sin of one is position to help one's fellow man and willfully chooses not to do the right thing.

I know what I went through and what my family went through and how eternally grateful we are for the acts of kindness and compassion that were shown to me. The least I can do is try to pay it forward to others in need.

Again, every cancer case is different.In the case of chemotherapy , it is like carpet bombing.

The doctors go in and bomb away at everything, hopefully removing all of the cancer cells but it has an array of side effects. For one thing, it really drains you. You feel like a wrung-out sponge on a daily basis. Even if you do manage to get some sleep, you never seem to be able to find a comfortable position so it's not a deep sleep. You never feel rested when you wake up. It's that type of thing that, in your weakest moments, can take away your spirit to keep fighting.

That's where a little boost from a friend -- or even a stranger -- can prove to be something very important. In David's case, I am thrilled that my letter brightened his spirits. Clearly, the will to fight (not to mention the skill of his doctors) was working in his favor all along. Sometimes, though, we all need a reminder that we're not in the fight alone.

So, David, thank YOU. Keep on living life and paying it forward to others, and we'll keep adding to our victories over the insidious beast known as cancer.

************

Paul Stewart holds the distinction of being the first U.S.-born citizen to make it to the NHL as both a player and referee. On March 15, 2003, he became the first American-born referee to officiate in 1,000 NHL games.
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