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Philly Got a Good One in Jay O'Brien |
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Follow Paul on Twitter: @PaulStewart22
One of most intriguing picks in the 2018 NHL Draft was Thayer Academy center Jay O'Brien, selected 19th overall in the first round by the Philadelphia Flyers. Down the line, I think he's going to be a very good NHL player. He reminds me quite a bit of a young Jeremy Roenick -- another Thayer Academy product -- in his puck skills, shooting ability, competitiveness and agitator streak. He is an exceptional skater, very good on both edges, and he has solid two-way instincts. He's a hockey player, through and through.
Before he turns pro, O'Brien will be in good hands as part of the Providence College program. Long-term, he's got both the tools and tool box to become an NHL impact player. He was a first-round caliber talent, regardless of where some of the scouting services ranked him. He'll need to add some muscle and gain some experience against higher-grade competition and then he should be fine once he adjusts.
Mind you, I'd be rooting for Jay regardless of my assessment of his NHL potential. He's a high-character kid from a good family. I've know the O'Briens for years. His dad, Frankie III, is the son of the late Frank "Junie" O'Brien.
Junie, the longtime hockey and baseball coach and an English teacher at Groton, had a profound influence on many young lives, including my own. He was my coach at Groton and a mentor and friend for decades afterwards until his passing in 2012 at age 92. Junie O'Brien, who captained the Yale University baseball team and was a teammate and lifelong close personal friend of future U.S. president George H.W. Bush, became a legend during his many years at Groton.
I would not have graduated Groton, gone on to the University of Pennsylvania and then played pro hockey if not for Junie O'Brien. When I look back at my youth, I think I let myself get too caught up in whether others perceived I belonged or didn't belong. I was a tough kid from a rough section of Boston, and I found myself forging that as my identity along with being an athlete. I'll confess something, though. While I know I was a tough kid who could fight -- and would do so very willingly-- I was also a very scared kid when I was at Groton and even at Penn.
I was scared that I wasn't smart enough. I was scared that I really didn't really belong. I was afraid of others seeing the fear -- which I guess I mistook for weakness, but understand now to be healthy and motivating -- that drove my ambitions.
At one point, though, I was literally ready to quit Groton and head home. Junie O'Brien told me to get in his car, took me for a drive and talked me out of quitting.
Junie's wife, Marianna Meade O'Brien (called "Muffin" by all who knew her), was like a second mother to many, many of us at Groton. The O'Brien house was a gathering place, not just for their four children and their friends but for many others. The joke was that the O'Briens had four biological kids and scores of "adopted' ones. No matter how many kids were at the house on a given day, Muffin fed and tended to all of us. I spent a lot of time there.
The O'Briens raised great kids; daughters Dede, Elsie and Louise ("Weezie") and son Frank III (Jay's dad, known to all of us simply as Frankie). The girls grew ino beautiful young women. Frankie and wife Amy have three children: Jay, Trevor and Liza.
Long after I graduated Groton -- at the time my NHL playing days were over and my first marriage failed -- Junie and Muffin saved me a second time.
I felt like a failure. I stopped enjoying life and lost my sense of purpose and direction. I found myself turning too much to drinking as a means to cope, especially as I realized that no pro teams were going to wait around for me with a contract. I was done as a pro player, and so I drank early, drank to the wee hours and lost my passion for training. I got out of shape.
During this time, I even had suicidal thoughts cross my mind. I contemplated taking my service revolver, sticking it in my mouth, and pulling the trigger. I realized I needed help and that continuing to pretend to be tougher than I felt would not end well. Unfortunately, I didn't yet have the courage to take the steps to help myself.
The pistol sat there on my lap. I glanced in the mirror and felt disgusted with myself and my life. But I also realized if I quit — in other words if I killed myself — the people who always hadn't believed in me would win. I put the gun down and stood up. I ended up giving the gun to my brother for safe keeping because I just didn't trust myself with it anymore.
Finally, Junie confronted me. We had stayed in contact over the years since I attended Groton. He knew I was depressed, and gave me some straight talk I needed to hear. He told me I was thinking too much and drinking too much. He encouraged me to seek professional help. Then he ended it with the following words of support.
"Paul, you have a lot more to give," coach O'Brien said. "There are people who believe in you. Don't let them down by letting yourself down. You are tougher than that. Go see someone and talk it out."
I set up an appointment with a psychologist. I was ready to have someone help me to help myself. That was the start of the path that brought me back into hockey -- and back to life -- on the officiating side of the game.
As such, I admit that I have strong feelings for the O'Briens because I owe them a deep debt of gratitude. However, personal feelings are one thing, and hockey is quite another. Jay O'Brien would be a rising star regardless of who his father and grandparents are. He's a natural talent. But when you watch him play, the heart and character that defines generations of the O'Brien family is evident in this young man.
This is the highest compliment I can pay, Jay: I am sure that Junie would have been very proud.
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Paul Stewart holds the distinction of being the first U.S.-born citizen to make it to the NHL as both a player and referee. On March 15, 2003, he became the first American-born referee to officiate in 1,000 NHL games.
Today, Stewart serves as director of hockey officiating for the ECAC.
Blogger •Former NHL Referee • 
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