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Nick Schmaltz helps set unofficial injury record

January 4, 2019, 10:47 AM ET [8 Comments]
James Tanner
Arizona Coyotes Blogger • RSSArchiveCONTACT
I'm out of jokes about Mr. Burns Softball team.

I knew in the offseason that signing Steve Sax was probably a karmic mistake, but hindsight is 20/20 so what can you do?

The Coyotes this year have to have set some sort of injury record. Or maybe it just seems that way.

Yesterday the club announced that it had assigned recently acquired Nick Schmaltz the injured reserve with (what else?) a lower-body injury.

It could be his big toe. Could be his wiener. You just don't know.

It continues to be a source of embarrassment to the NHL and the people who go along with it (i.e people who do know what the injury is but go along with the league and team in referring to them as UBIs and LBIS) that this is how they report injuries.



If you're paying for a goddamn ticket, or letting ads wash over you from your favorite tv broadcast or website, you damn well deserve to know why a guy is injured.

Schmaltzy has been pretty good offensively since joining the team - he has 14 points in 17 games which is amazing when you consider his team makes it virtually impossible to get assists, and has scored one or less goals in about 40% of their games.

That said, he is the worst possession player on the team by a mile, and both of his most common linemates - Keller and Galchenyuk - are over 50% without him, and not even close with him.

Strome was their best possession player and did not get the minutes or the chances to prove himself before John Chayka decided to take the side of a coach he hired over a player he didn't draft. Every GM makes brutal mistakes, but this is going to haunt Chayka for the rest of his career.

Anyways, Schmaltz joins the following hilarious list:

Raanta - out for year
Demers - out for year
Dvorak - out for year
Chychrun - didn't play till Christmas
Nick Merkley - didn't play till Christmas
Grabner - Eye injury (deleted pirate joke was in bad taste!) Indefinite.
Connauton - injured knee last game, probably out
Galchenyuk - two separate injuries.
Hinistroza - missed significant time with a body injury.

For perspective: that's a Vezina calibre goalie (highest save percentage 2018 calendar year), a top pairing defenseman, #2 centre, top young defenseman, top prospect, best free agent signing last summer, best trade acquisition of the offseasn, and the second best trade acquisition of the offseason.

For even more perspective: only six Coyotes have dressed for all 40 games.

For even more perspective: 30 of the Coyotes 40 games have been started by Darcey Kuemper or Adin Hill.

The Coyotes are one point out of the NHL's basement, and, given their injuries, that has to be seen as some kind of small victory.

Good times!
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