You gather round your TV, turn on TSN, and watch as normally competent people are forced to fill an hour of air time by drawing picks for the NHL draft.
Sure, the last pick is pretty fun, but who is going to be picking 12th?
That's not as fun as you think.
To spice things up, maybe Pierre McGuire will be there to tell you where everyone went to college, and maybe even explain hockey to a few women, just like he did at the all-star game.
Maybe the NHL will get a musical guest of dubious relevance, like they do at the all-star game. I'm thinking Ashlee Simpson might be nice.
Anyways, as the other teams gear up for the Playoffs, the Coyotes will sadly be staying home, thanks in part to t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶e̶t̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶a̶b̶i̶l̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶c̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶g̶o̶a̶l̶s̶ the Colorado Avalanches 14 loser points.
It's such an embarrassing way to make the playoffs it's surprising that they didn't just forfeit and let the Coyotes take their place.
Of course, not only do the Avalanche get to make the playoffs even though they shouldn't be within five miles of them, they also get the best odds to win the Draft Lottery thanks to the incompetence of Ottawa Senators GM Pierre Dorian, who is to NHL general managing as an axe to the penis is to men's health.
So, not that good.
The Coyotes have a 1.5% chance of drafting first overall, and since the Avs just stole the playoffs from them, it would be poetic justice if they won.
The Prize is Jack Hughes, a player projected to be up there with Connor McDavid and Auston Matthews as the best players in the NHL.
It would be pretty good to get him, although we all know Rick Tocchet would start him on the fourth line and refuse to use him. Maybe Rick would be generous and give him some minutes with Nick Cousins - you never know.
Eventually Hughes would get traded to Chicago and become one of the league's highest scorers.
Still, I'd like to get him.
1.5%
Doesn't sound like much, but it's still better odds of losing a fight to an alligator, which if it actually happens, you're a 3 to 1 favorite.
If the Coyotes can't win, I'm hoping for the Oilers, because the most hilarious result is always the best result.
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