A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
- Doppleganger

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see."

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
- Doppleganger

- Crimsoninja

ok just watched this

so some redneck southern weirdo is shopping with his wife/sister in walmart for guns and american flags or something.

suddenly they come across a display of 24-packs of budweiser, the king of beers, on sale for only $10.00

the husband has it halfway in the cart when the wife reminds him that they aren't rich and need to save a few bucks for repairs to the double wide trailer they live in with their 7 kids.

the husband angrily puts the 24-pack back on the display.

a few aisles later the wife drops a bottle of skin cream in the cart. the husband picks it up and exclaims incredulously "$20?? what about the repairs to the trailer?"

the wife replies, "but baby. this is my face cream. this makes me look pretty for when we have sex!"

the husband puts the cream back on the shelf, looks at his wife, and says "so does 24 cans of budweiser for half the price."

so some redneck southern weirdo is shopping with his wife/sister in walmart for guns and american flags or something.

suddenly they come across a display of 24-packs of budweiser, the king of beers, on sale for only $10.00

the husband has it halfway in the cart when the wife reminds him that they aren't rich and need to save a few bucks for repairs to the double wide trailer they live in with their 7 kids.

the husband angrily puts the 24-pack back on the display.

a few aisles later the wife drops a bottle of skin cream in the cart. the husband picks it up and exclaims incredulously "$20?? what about the repairs to the trailer?"

the wife replies, "but baby. this is my face cream. this makes me look pretty for when we have sex!"

the husband puts the cream back on the shelf, looks at his wife, and says "so does 24 cans of budweiser for half the price."
- kicksave856

·_·

·_·
- dt99999

lol

why should you guys get to have all the fun?

Two couples are golfing at a course in Florida while on holidays. On the thirteenth hole "Bill" tees off and hit a low hard shot that hits a fence post, bounces back to where Bill's wife is waiting at the women's tee box..........the ball hits her squarely in the forehead and instantly kills her on spot.

About five years later "Bill" is back in Florida golfing with some friends on vacation, and at the same course where Bill's wife had died. When they get to the thirteenth hole Bill's friend Steve, who witnessed Bill's Wife's death suddenly realized that this was the first time back at this tragic location.

Steve see's Bill choking up and the others in the foursome ask Steve what's the matter, and he explains it to them...............and they decide to offer their condolences to Bill, as it was a bit of an awkward situation.

One of the Guys's asked Bill how he could hold his composure so well, and Bill tells him that he has put the tragic events out of his mind and just wants to play the hole and get through it.

Puzzled by the explanation, one of them asks Bill " What do you mean by events?"

Bill answers that he misses his Wife, but because of her, he had to hit "Three of the tee" and ended up with a double bogey the last time he played that hole.

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
- Doppleganger

Two couples are golfing at a course in Florida while on holidays. On the thirteenth hole "Bill" tees off and hit a low hard shot that hits a fence post, bounces back to where Bill's wife is waiting at the women's tee box..........the ball hits her squarely in the forehead and instantly kills her on spot.

About five years later "Bill" is back in Florida golfing with some friends on vacation, and at the same course where Bill's wife had died. When they get to the thirteenth hole Bill's friend Steve, who witnessed Bill's Wife's death suddenly realized that this was the first time back at this tragic location.

Steve see's Bill choking up and the others in the foursome ask Steve what's the matter, and he explains it to them...............and they decide to offer their condolences to Bill, as it was a bit of an awkward situation.

One of the Guys's asked Bill how he could hold his composure so well, and Bill tells him that he has put the tragic events out of his mind and just wants to play the hole and get through it.

Puzzled by the explanation, one of them asks Bill " What do you mean by events?"

Bill answers that he misses his Wife, but because of her, he had to hit "Three of the tee" and ended up with a double bogey the last time he played that hole.
- Doppleganger

this one lacked pizzaz

this one lacked pizzaz
- Shutdown

- kicksave856

z

z
- Shutdown

lol

- D0PPELGANGER

this one lacks pizzaz

this one lacks pizzaz
- Shutdown

z

z
- dt99999

z

z
- Shutdown

nope

z
- dt99999

exactly

z
- Shutdown

no he's actually right.