I haven't met any girls who actually like nasty scars across a man's body.

When I lived in NJ, I worked at Hollydell Ice Arena and one morning I was opening up the Zamboni doors after a game and I managed to smash my hand between my thumb and fingers between the handle and the stopper. My hand busted open and I grabbed it to stop the bleeding... never realizing I had actually placed my fingers inside my other hand. After getting stiches I figured women would love the scar. Not one woman I've met likes it.
- Flyersgod

The important question is whether or not you met Johnny Gaudreau.

Story version: I fought a grizzly bear in Moose Jaw that was attacking a beagle puppy. Bear got my hand, but I saved that poor dogs life.
- Moose_15

One up: I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building.

Nope. Next Gretzky.
- JAKEw1234

Paulina? Or Janet Jones?

Hartnell, Streit and Schenn are all useless and they suck and need to be traded! I'm sick of this Holmgren!
- Richieattack18

I steadfastly stand by my disdain for the Streit, Vinny and Hartnell signings/contracts.

So--does that make Luke the next Brent?
- Moose_15

I believe it actually makes him the next Chris Pronger, if my math is correct.

Maybe because you told the true story.

Edit: Next time tell them you saved children from a burning building. Don't give any details. Just say you don't like to talk about it.
- PhillySportsGuy

Oh if we're not going to tell the truth I can make up a much better story without the scar!

One up: I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building.
- JAKEw1234

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched Titanic and wept.

Oh if we're not going to tell the truth I can make up a much better story without the scar!
- Flyersgod

Without a scar, what is a story?

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched The Notebook and wept.
- jmatchett383

FTFY

I believe it actually makes him the next Chris Pronger, if my math is correct.
- JAKEw1234

So then Brayden Schenn becomes the next Sean Pronger?

I'm confused. Both brother's can't be good.

Without a scar, what is a story?
- PhillySportsGuy

So there I was...surrounded by seventy Taliban members with guns trained on me, the hundreds of US-born infant prisoners crying in their prison cells in the next room.

Someone else pick this up.

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched Titanic and wept.
- jmatchett383

I saved a burning grizzly bear from a hoard of killer newborn orphan puppies. Later that day, me and the bear wrote, directed, and starred in all of the best movies.

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched Titanic and wept.
- jmatchett383

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched Titanic and wept. And since we were in Moose Jaw, my tears turned to Ice. I still have those tears in my freezer. Want to come over and see them?


[Takes Bow]

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched Titanic and wept. And since we were in Moose Jaw, my tears turned to Ice. I still have those tears in my freezer. Want to come over and see my penis?

So then Brayden Schenn becomes the next Sean Pronger?

I'm confused. Both brother's can't be good.
- Moose_15

Both brothers are good in this story.

Both brothers are good in this story.
- JAKEw1234

Oh--one of those Mario and Luigi duos. Gotcha. Why didn't you just say that in the beginning?

Both brothers are good in this story.
- JAKEw1234

They're like the best brother combinations in NHL history.

Eric and Brett...aw, crap.
Chris and Sean...dammit.
Wayne and brent...DAMMIT!
Keith and Wayne...yeah, close enough.

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched Titanic and wept. And since we were in Moose Jaw, my tears turned to Ice. I still have those tears in my freezer. Want to come over and see my penis?
- jmatchett383

Nice touch at the end. Subtle, yet effective.

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched Titanic and wept. And since we were in Moose Jaw, my tears turned to Ice. I still have those tears in my freezer. Want to come over and see my penis?
- jmatchett383

His back is broken. Literally.
- johndewar

And they've been winning, which leads to less scapegoat drama-a-rama.

They're like the best brother combinations in NHL history.

Eric and Brett...aw, crap.
Chris and Sean...dammit.
Wayne and brent...DAMMIT!
Keith and Wayne...yeah, close enough.
- jmatchett383

Staals
Sedins

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched Titanic and wept. And since we were in Moose Jaw, my tears turned to Ice. I still have those tears in my freezer. Want to come over and see my penis?
- jmatchett383

My hat goes off to you, sir.

Story version: I fought a grizzly bear in Moose Jaw that was attacking a beagle puppy. Bear got my hand, but I saved that poor dogs life.
- Moose_15

And who doesn't love a beagle puppy?

Terrorists.

That's who.

And who doesn't love a beagle puppy?

Terrorists.

That's who.
- johndewar

I love how Beagles can't bark

I saved orphan puppies from a grizzly bear in a burning building while carrying 6 newborns out of the blaze. Later that day, we all watched Titanic and wept. And since we were in Moose Jaw, my tears turned to Ice. I still have those tears in my freezer. Want to come over and see my penis?
- jmatchett383

/starts movie slow clap