A priest, a rabbi and a horse walk into a bar. The bartender looks them up and down and says what is this some kind of joke?
- VanHockeyGuy

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.

The bartender screams at the guy, your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole

Sorry replied the guy. He eats everything in sight, the little bastid. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his as*, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

Yeah, replies the guy. He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first.

*insert rim shot here*

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.

The bartender screams at the guy, your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole

Sorry replied the guy. He eats everything in sight, the little bastid. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his as*, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

Yeah, replies the guy. He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first.

*insert rim shot here*
- Zogg

I still laugh every time I hear or read that one.

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they
were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You
know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up
today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south
and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our
experiences over the campfire."

The second friend agrees and hikes south.
That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then
I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks.
I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks.
I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and we had sex in every
imaginable way all afternoon.
Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move,

So, I came back to camp."

"Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?"

"Nah," says the second friend eating his meal,

"I couldn't find her head."

Two morticians were talking and one says, "You HAVE to come into the back room. There's a female corpse back there that has a prawn sticking out of her vagina." The other says," WHAT! You're crazy!" So he goes in the back room and looks. "That's not a Prawn, you idiot! That's her clitoris!" "Gosh, it sure tasted like a prawn!" The other relied.

Surprised neither team sent down guys like Jurco or Horvat.
- Feds91Stammer

For what it's worth neither horvat or jurco were placed on the ahl squad by the deadline so neither were eligible for ahl playoffs.

Often this is just a paper transaction and players are not actually sent down. IIRC baertachi, corrado and clendening were put through but never physically reported.

Clearly I didn't get the memo.....

What kind of bees make milk........





.........boobies

Clearly I didn't get the memo.....

What kind of bees make milk........





.........boobies
- belcherbd

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean........








A good start.

Clearly I didn't get the memo.....

What kind of bees make milk........





.........boobies
- belcherbd

Why don't they play cards in the jungle?






Too many Cheetahs

Why don't they play cards in the jungle?






Too many Cheetahs
- hillbillydeluxe

lol nice work, lads... you twisted mofos (although this one is nice and family friendly, Hillbilly - well done you @#$@#%! @#$ #@%@# @#$!@%@#! lol )

lol nice work, lads... you twisted mofos (although this one is nice and family friendly, Hillbilly - well done you @#$@#%! @#$ #@%@# @#$!@%@#! lol )
- Zogg

My brother told me this one he overheard when he was coaching some young lads, I think they were pee-wee's.

What do you do when your dish washer stops working?




Slap the female dog

he was shocked, more funny or startling coming from a young fella.

My brother told me this one he overheard when he was coaching some young lads, I think they were pee-wee's.

What do you do when your dish washer stops working?




Slap the female dog

he was shocked, more funny or startling coming from a young fella.
- hillbillydeluxe

precocious lil bastid

precocious lil bastid
- Zogg

he wasn't sure they understood what they were saying. kids just love to laugh together.

I forwarded a few of those above, spreading a little laughter is always good.

he wasn't sure they understood what they were saying. kids just love to laugh together.

I forwarded a few of those above, spreading a little laughter is always good.


- hillbillydeluxe

How does Moses make his Tea?


Hebrews it!

How does Moses make his Tea?


Hebrews it!
- GloveHandStrong

bad, but good.

I opened up a nightclub called Erectile Dysfunction.....


It was a complete flop......




Nobody came.......

What's green and smells like bacon?


Kermit's finger.

His face after he did this: http://gfycat.com/CanineNippyIrrawaddydolphin



Then after:

https://streamable.com/wcg6

https://streamable.com/2y17

His face after he did this: http://gfycat.com/CanineNippyIrrawaddydolphin



Then after:

https://streamable.com/wcg6

https://streamable.com/2y17
- Nucker101

My new Favorite prospect

My new Favorite prospect
- GloveHandStrong

He's my new Kesler

Younger and hawter too

He's my new Kesler

Younger and hawter too
- Nucker101

It also helps that me and Virtanen have the same First name..... maybe that explains my affinity for Markstrom

His face after he did this: http://gfycat.com/CanineNippyIrrawaddydolphin



Then after:

https://streamable.com/wcg6

https://streamable.com/2y17
- Nucker101

Cocky little wiener, I can't wait for Cherry's rant about him not showing respect.

She has an Adams apple
- VANTEL

.......on her penis.

7 years ago today, we lost a outstanding young man, RIP Luc Bourdon

7 years ago today, we lost a outstanding young man, RIP Luc Bourdon
- LeftCoaster

RIP