i'm so tired i am not sure what day it is and recognition of my name is iffy.
- Gramps28

it's gramos


you roll the r.

- kicksave856

my feet smell like corn chips

my feet smell like corn chips
- KINGKENZO

this godforsaken broken website keeps lighting up the pasta thread and i get all excited thinking there's gonna be some delicious looking picture of a mouth watering mussels red over linguine or something. but there never is. there's nothing.

this godforsaken broken website keeps lighting up the pasta thread and i get all excited thinking there's gonna be some delicious looking picture of a mouth watering mussels red over linguine or something. but there never is. there's nothing.
- kicksave856

- Streit2ThePoint

it's a tough way to live.

i asked eklund to fix it but i guess he's still sleeping.

GOD DAMMIT!

wakin up is hard to do

wakin up is hard to do
- kicksave856

so hard

so hard
- Streit2ThePoint

oh that's normal. it's good for penile health.

I have been unable to impregnate the missus after 20 years together, 16+ married

I have been unable to impregnate the missus after 20 years together, 16+ married
- penguininnevada

you don't need the little burdens running around.

i mean, think of that lifestyle change.

besides, crims and i will be all the burden you'll ever need.

you don't need the little burdens running around.

besides, crims and i will be all the burden you'll ever need.
- kicksave856

i think the vasectomy I had and the birth control the missus takes along with the facial ejaculations may be a problem

i think the vasectomy I had and the birth control the missus takes along with the facial ejaculations may be a problem
- penguininnevada

i can almost guarantee that's at least part of the problem, yes.

i can almost guarantee that's at least part of the problem, yes.
- kicksave856

guy ain't taking a lick of a chance.

guy ain't taking a lick of a chance.
- Gramps28

i made a mental note never to kiss his wife on the cheek.

i can almost guarantee that's at least part of the problem, yes.
- kicksave856

i made a mental note never to kiss his wife on the cheek.
- kicksave856

i made a mental note never to kiss his wife on the cheek.
- kicksave856

if you ever happen to forget and you do to kiss her on the cheek, you'll see a YUGE maniacal grin appear on watson's face as he stares at you right in the eye

stomach is making creaking noises.

back is bothering me.

you guys think jesus can help me?

back is bothering me.

you guys think jesus can help me?
- kicksave856

your back hurts because it's the devil trying to bring you down.

*prays*

your back hurts because it's the devil trying to bring you down.

*prays*
- Streit2ThePoint

the water in the downstairs bathroom takes over 85 seconds to reach a temperature acceptable for washing your hands. longer than that for actual heat.

it runs for over a full minute before there is even a hint of a change from it's usual arctic temperature.