do you need a to feel validated?? there is no bad or good when ballzuing someone's chin there's just izz
- gopherwildfan

Remember the tagline for Saw, "There will be blood"?

I wonder if there's a porn version of that... "There will be jizz"?

Remember the tagline for Saw, "There will be blood"?

I wonder if there's a porn version of that... "There will be jizz"?
- laughs2907

Or a porn version of it whose tagline is also "There will be blood".

Remember the tagline for Saw, "There will be blood"?

I wonder if there's a porn version of that... "There will be jizz"?
- laughs2907

Or a porn version of it whose tagline is also "There will be blood".
- MaximumBone

- DDM-Coga

Become a Ballintologist today!

*Written by one of our founders*



Ballintology

First let me go into some history.

It was decided that there was something lacking in humanity by a small, yet spread out group of individuals. I said we should call the new way of life Ballintology. It stuck. Laughs then created the Ballintology logo, which you'll find in my avatar. It was then that I scripted the initial book of Ballintology. It is the following:

Ballintology exists due to a void left in human thought. Up until now there have been three venues a person could pursue. Those three are salvation, damnation, or resignation. In other words; you could choose a religion and be saved, choose the wrong or no religion and be damned, or just resign and believe in nothing but what you can observe.

This left a void. A void which Ballintology hopes to fill. Ballintology is not about salvation. You cannot be saved. It is not about damnation. You cannot be damned. Nor is Ballintology about relinquishing hope and believing in nothing but that which is observed.

Ballintology fills the void left by humans in part by standing upon a principle held by both the spiritual and nonspiritual alike. That is energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

The alpha and the omega. The infinite power. This is the one thing, the one entity, the one energy we accept as fact. As a ballintologist you can call this energy any word you wish. You may call it God. You may call it Allah. You may call it Life. It doesn't matter.

All that matters is that it is, was, and always will be. Upon this foundation Ballintologists observe that which has been bestowed upon us by this energy. Our five senses. It is through these five senses which we experience life. Without them life would be worthless. It is these senses which give our lives meaning. If you're looking for the meaning of life; you have found it.

Therefore, Ballintology encourages humans to experience the full spectrum of emotions of which we are capable. Right and wrong are subjective, however that which happens is actual. You were allowed to experience it due to the senses and faculties granted to you by the eternal energy.

We do not acknowledge this energy as personable or negligible. It just is. That is all that matters.

There is no joy without pain. There is no love without hate. There is no graciousness without greed.

Ballintology encourages humans to explore the Entire spectrum. The spectrum is the reason for our existence. If you never hate then you miss out on the experience. If you never forgive, then you are missing out. And if you never loved; then you have missed everything.

With all this said Ballintology does in fact believe in three Maxims. If you accept these Maxims then you may feel free to call yourself a ballintologist.

They are as follows:

1. Life exists as to allow life. Nothing you do can violate this.
2. The spectrum of experience should be learned from for the betterment of humankind
3. You are born a sin. You are born a miracle. You are not in and of yourself important. What matters is how you navigate your experiences; and how you implement the lessons learned there of.

Above all else; learn from life. Time is the only thing which is irreplaceable. Do not waste your time, which is irreplaceable, by worrying about that which does not matter. Instead spend precious time by experiencing what there is to experience. Use all of your senses. Joy. Pain. Sex. Love. Hate. Failure. Success. Learn.


-------------

To be clear Ballintology is not a religion. It is a way of life. You can be a Ballintologist and a Christian if you so choose. Enjoy the experience!

Carguy was very astute and knew that something like this had to have validity. Some entity which exists in thought and/or faith.

I introduce you to Ballzu. He was Emporer of the Ballsian Galactic Federation 50,000,000 years ago which our beliefs are derived from.

I don't have an artist's rendering of him which is major fail on my part; however I know Laughs and Carguy still hold images of his appearance.

Ballintology started off small...and then spread. Soon our members were double digits and transatlantic!

Peace be Ballzu.


- laughs2907

WOW. Way to totally butcher a fist post. Not impressed.

Or a porn version of it whose tagline is also "There will be blood".
- MaximumBone

This fetish of yours is even more disturbing than Jero's.

Time to send Puljujarvi to the AHL so he can actually play every game.
- Oildrum

Dudes not ready, when will they realize this?

This fetish of yours is even more disturbing than Jero's.
- leonkennedy

There are far worse fetishes as I'm sure you well know.

Also when you are Maxbones age the answer is always yes, no matter what time of the month it is.

Dudes not ready, when will they realize this?
- K-man25

I can see some logic in keeping him up in the NHL as it a.) helps him adjust to a new country whose language he barely speaks, b.) to keep close tabs on his workout routine and training regimen, and c.) to keep him in NHL-paced practices for a tad longer.

I'd prefer he be playing games in a scoring role down in the AHL with Lander, but I can see some reasons for keeping him up. I don't think it's as black and white of an issue. Besides, it didn't hurt Draisaitl.

WOW. Way to totally butcher a fist post. Not impressed.
- leonkennedy

Up your nose with a rubber hose.

I can see some logic in keeping him up in the NHL as it a.) helps him adjust to a new country whose language he barely speaks, b.) to keep close tabs on his workout routine and training regimen, and c.) to keep him in NHL-paced practices for a tad longer.

I'd prefer he be playing games in a scoring role down in the AHL with Lander, but I can see some reasons for keeping him up. I don't think it's as black and white of an issue. Besides, it didn't hurt Draisaitl.
- MaximumBone

I think speed is his issue... but I feel that acid is (frank)ing him up as well.

There are far worse fetishes as I'm sure you well know.

Also when you are Maxbones age the answer is always yes, no matter what time of the month it is.
- Wildschwein

Who am I to deny the women of the world access to my loving?

Who am I to deny the women of the world access to my loving?
- MaximumBone

Women, men, animals, watermelons, bathroom mats, etc.

Who am I to deny the women of the world access to my loving?
- MaximumBone

Very giving of you. I prefer to treat my lovin like the lottery. The few who get a piece feel damn lucky.

Women, men, animals, watermelons, bathroom mats, etc.
- laughs2907

Gets a little tiring holding the watermelon up, no? Wouldn't a cantaloupe be a better melon to (frank)?

Gets a little tiring holding the watermelon up, no? Wouldn't a cantaloupe be a better melon to (frank)?
- Wildschwein

That's why I recently bought my own midget.

That's why I recently bought my own midget.
- laughs2907

Brilliant!!!

Wait, why not (frank) the midget? Its not a ginger is it?

Brilliant!!!

Wait, why not (frank) the midget? Its not a ginger is it?
- Wildschwein

Dude, I just ate!!! I have standards, you know! Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to (frank) that bathroom mat again

Up your nose with a rubber hose.
- laughs2907

That's better. Totally redeemed yourself.

There are far worse fetishes as I'm sure you well know.

Also when you are Maxbones age the answer is always yes, no matter what time of the month it is.
- Wildschwein

I fear he may have been referring to something along the lines of a "Snuff" film.

That's better. Totally redeemed yourself.
- leonkennedy

Dude, I just ate!!! I have standards, you know! Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to (frank) that bathroom mat again
- laughs2907

Enjoy.

I fear he may have been referring to something along the lines of a "Snuff" film.
- leonkennedy

How dare you say such a thing about my beloved Maxbone!

Thats really more of a GiftofGod thing anyhow.