I’m a fat old man with a bad sense of humor and no aptitude for fancy numbers. I attended mediocre educational institutions, didn’t apply myself to academics, drank to the point of dissipation, and achieved humdrum mediocrity.

I have three friends.

My family doesn’t like me except when I buy things for them.

Spot on hockey takes, even VERY spot on hockey takes, are cold comfort.
- Der Kaiser

I'll be your friend, Kaiser. You don't have to buy me anything either.

We should go feed the pigeons some time.

I'll be your friend, Kaiser. You don't have to buy me anything either.

We should go feed the pigeons some time.
- RhinoFan

Is that some kind of sexual innuendo?

I like long walks along the beach

I love dogs and have 3 of them

I hate cats and have 2 of them

There isn't one inch of a woman's body I wouldn't put my mouth on

I apparently have pictures of Jason Botterill on my refrigerator

And I'm not allowed in the state of Nebraska.

Is that some kind of sexual innuendo?
- CoHo_to_B-Lo

I guess that's up to him, but wasn't intentional. Old people feed pigeons, you'll feed them one day.

I like long walks along the beach

I love dogs and have 3 of them

I hate cats and have 2 of them

There isn't one inch of a woman's body I wouldn't put my mouth on

I apparently have pictures of Jason Botterill on my refrigerator

And I'm not allowed in the state of Nebraska.
- Powerslave

This reminded me, I saw on twitter the other day:

Q: "Why is Tennyson playing?"
A: "Because he has pictures of Botterill riding Jack in the unicorn outfit"

And been to Nebraska twice, you aren't missing anything.

I guess that's up to him, but wasn't intentional. Old people feed pigeons, you'll feed them one day.
- RhinoFan

I am 31. I eat ass, i don't "feed pigeons"

I turn 24 in a couple of months, have a few different friend groups due to my hometown and going to school an hour away from where I live. I scored a job with a banking institution as an order placer for self directed investors which can hopefully be a stepping stone for myself.

However, I’ll be living in my parents house till I’m 28 because that’s the only way I’ll be able to save money while working due to the crazy housing prices in the GTA. I’m easily picked on due to my affiliation with the Sabres. My girlfriend lives an hour away from me and we hardly see each other and it’s a matter of time before she realizes she can do a lot better then me.

I got friends but a lot of poop to figure out that I forget I even have them haha.
- Pegullaville

I have hard news for you: these are all things you THINK. Over the next 30 years, life is going to get hold of you and educate you in ways you haven’t met yet.

Then, some Saturday morning in the far off distant future, you’ll wake up and realize that now you KNOW. And you’ll sigh, and pour another cup of coffee. And think to yourself, “Oh well, (frank) it all anyway.”

This reminded me, I saw on twitter the other day:

Q: "Why is Tennyson playing?"
A: "Because he has pictures of Botterill riding Jack in the unicorn outfit"

And been to Nebraska twice, you aren't missing anything.
- RhinoFan

😂😂😂

I like long walks along the beach

I love dogs and have 3 of them

I hate cats and have 2 of them

There isn't one inch of a woman's body I wouldn't put my mouth on

I apparently have pictures of Jason Botterill on my refrigerator

And I'm not allowed in the state of Nebraska.
- Powerslave

I'm black.

I still hold that Ted Nolan is the greatest coach in Sabres history.

I put ketchup on everything, even cereal.

I, too, am banned from the State of Nebraska.