So two more players traded that were never on the rumour chart. I'm seeing a trend...
- Kooleus

Ek will soon be introducing a new Hockey Buzz double header rumour Chart. These will be players who will be available to be drafted, signed or acquired who excel at playing in double headers.

There will now be greater emphasis placed on VLC (Vital lung capacity) and GWBGT (games won before getting tired). I'm hearing Gary Roberts is in demand by every team in the NHL. If a player ain't fit then don't take the cap hit. That's what GM's are saying now.

It's a brand new NHL world right now and I'm just thankful Ek is here to navigate us through. I heard from a high ranking league executive today that shootouts might be replaced with field goals. So teams will need players with soccer experience. This favours the European players. But they'll be kicking pucks through the uprights. The Rangers seem like they'll transition very well. Bread Man says let's kick it!

So two more players traded that were never on the rumour chart. I'm seeing a trend...
- Kooleus

It's actually more of a mandate. Those on the rumour chart are damned to spend the entirety of their contracts on their respective teams

Wasn't Mike Matheson +/- rating last season a whooping -24, the 6th worst in the NHL. In fact, except for his first year, Matheson's +/- rating was always in the minus. Teams score when Mikey's on the ice...

Just when I got nervous about Rutherford signing Tanev to a five year $5M deal thinking it can't get much worse than that, this is what I see today? FML
- Rinosaur

Just wait, it's gonna get worse - when we find out JR is going to retain 50% of Horny's salary too...

Ek will soon be introducing a new Hockey Buzz double header rumour Chart. These will be players who will be available to be drafted, signed or acquired who excel at playing in double headers.

There will now be greater emphasis placed on VLC (Vital lung capacity) and GWBGT (games won before getting tired). I'm hearing Gary Roberts is in demand by every team in the NHL. If a player ain't fit then don't take the cap hit. That's what GM's are saying now.

It's a brand new NHL world right now and I'm just thankful Ek is here to navigate us through. I heard from a high ranking league executive today that shootouts might be replaced with field goals. So teams will need players with soccer experience. This favours the European players. But they'll be kicking pucks through the uprights. The Rangers seem like they'll transition very well. Bread Man says let's kick it!


- gergeswillems

There was also talk of instituting a 90 minute, single shift, 55 man mandatory OT period to be played 14 times on consecutive Tuesdays, which will also involve a minor change to the Roman and Mayan calendars, respectively, for each game that begins with a 0-0 score at opening puck drop. Players will be given body cams to televise the event, and will be encouraged to provide their own constant stream of consciousness commentary. Any refusal to do so will be met with a monetary fine as well as exposure to an immediate expansion draft. New expansion teams will be chosen by Peter Chiarelli in his new executive role of Junior Vice President of League Management Operations SOP Director of Amateur Affiliation.

Huge if big.

Wasn't Mike Matheson +/- rating last season a whooping -24, the 6th worst in the NHL. In fact, except for his first year, Matheson's +/- rating was always in the minus. Teams score when Mikey's on the ice...
- nitroslices

Matheson has a career high of 27 points in a season. He's done it twice. Stud.

There was also talk of instituting a 90 minute, single shift, 55 man mandatory OT period to be played 14 times on consecutive Tuesdays, which will also involve a minor change to the Roman and Mayan calendars, respectively, for each game that begins with a 0-0 score at opening puck drop. Players will be given body cams to televise the event, and will be encouraged to provide their own constant stream of consciousness commentary. Any refusal to do so will be met with a monetary fine as well as exposure to an immediate expansion draft. New expansion teams will be chosen by Peter Chiarelli in his new executive role of Junior Vice President of League Management Operations SOP Director of Amateur Affiliation.

Huge if big.
- cnatch

Interesting. I'm also hearing Garth Snow will be hired by the NHL to assist current goalies in wearing whichever equipment they want. No limitations at all. Snow is currently the New York Islanders assistant vice President of paper clips so he's very much looking forward to this new career opportunity.

I'm also hearing Kevin Lowe will be hired by the NHL in a bragging capacity. Each time a player gets too full of himself and starts saying how great he is, Kevin Lowe will remind him (like he does with everyone else) that he won 6 Stanley Cups.

Matheson has a career high of 27 points in a season. He's done it twice. Stud.
- gergeswillems

It's also his versatility. He's done everything from third pairing d to 13th forward. The possibilities are.....well they end right there, but on paper it's like having an extra Crosby and Malkin. Put a C on this man's sweater and watch the league tremble. You don't mess with Texas.

It's also his versatility. He's done everything from third pairing d to 13th forward. The possibilities are.....well they end right there, but on paper it's like having an extra Crosby and Malkin. Put a C on this man's sweater and watch the league tremble. You don't mess with Texas.
- cnatch

Matheson wants to be The Man.

It's also his versatility. He's done everything from third pairing d to 13th forward. The possibilities are.....well they end right there, but on paper it's like having an extra Crosby and Malkin. Put a C on this man's sweater and watch the league tremble. You don't mess with Texas.
- cnatch

you nevr know, we could see him play goalie next year

Interesting. I'm also hearing Garth Snow will be hired by the NHL to assist current goalies in wearing whichever equipment they want. No limitations at all. Snow is currently the New York Islanders assistant vice President of paper clips so he's very much looking forward to this new career opportunity.

I'm also hearing Kevin Lowe will be hired by the NHL in a bragging capacity. Each time a player gets too full of himself and starts saying how great he is, Kevin Lowe will remind him (like he does with everyone else) that he won 6 Stanley Cups.
- gergeswillems

Bettman has been working on greenlighting a new player rating system. Mike Babcock will go to a Tim Bits game and have the players rank all NHL players from worst to worstest. It won't be an anonymous poll; instead each Time Bit will have to provide their name, address, school, phone number, parents names and occupations, and food allergies. The information will the. Be uploaded to pornhub.com. it's gonna be groundbreaking

It's time Lemieux calls hospice to take over GMJR decisions.

Matheson wants to be The Man.
- gergeswillems

Mike the Mantheson. Hardcore.

Bettman has been working on greenlighting a new player rating system. Mike Babcock will go to a Tim Bits game and have the players rank all NHL players from worst to worstest. It won't be an anonymous poll; instead each Time Bit will have to provide their name, address, school, phone number, parents names and occupations, and food allergies. The information will the. Be uploaded to pornhub.com. it's gonna be groundbreaking
- cnatch

Pornhub? Roeper will be all over that like Augello on his mom's basement. I could definitely see Babs doing this. He'd have a rating system for sure...

5 timbits...Real gud pro. Good man. Hyman or Glenny
4 timbits... Keeps cumin at ya all night. Zetterberg
3 timbits...puts foot on gas plays a full 60. Danny Cleary
2 timbits... helps keep the flies off. Dally Drake
1 timbit... Totally useless. Mike Commodore/Steve Sparks

Pornhub? Roeper will be all over that like Augello on his mom's basement. I could definitely see Babs doing this. He'd have a rating system for sure...

5 timbits...Real gud pro. Good man. Hyman or Glenny
4 timbits... Keeps cumin at ya all night. Zetterberg
3 timbits...puts foot on gas plays a full 60. Danny Cleary
2 timbits... helps keep the flies off. Dally Drake
1 timbit... Totally useless. Mike Commodore/Steve Sparks
- gergeswillems

He'll also segregate the players based on their relative flavour

GMJR has effectively proven that he has no plan and no vision. He has really only made a handful of good trades in his entire career. I'm sorry but I think odds are really good for any GM to pull off a few good trades out of 30+. I'm not sure what Mario and Burkel are waiting for. It's time for a GM who doesn't have love affairs with players regardless of how terrible their track record is. Someone young with a fresh mind would probably help them moving forward. Thanks for the help with the cups, but unfortunately the Crosby/Malkin era is over. They can't save you from your mistakes any longer.

At least Rutherford is making changes and not trying to think the Pens will improve and win with the same roster that just wasn't good enough.

Jack Johnson will be traded. Don't see how they bring him back - with MM coming in from Florida

Matheson wants to be The Man.
- gergeswillems

that's FUZZY math

The rest of the GM’s in the Eastern conference are praising JR big hoping they are next in line to strike a deal with him. How much do the Penguins owe this guy. See ya later Jimmy

Jack Johnson will be traded. Don't see how they bring him back - with MM coming in from Florida
- AlfieisKing

You think that would be the logical decision, right? Wrong. Rutherford will trade Pettersson.

I wonder if Cody Ceci is a consolation prize for all the teams who missed out on Mike Matheson?

I also heard a rumour that Taylor Hall is narrowing in on his birthplace of Calgary. With all of these doubleheaders, Hall is anticipating getting injured and looking forward to just relaxing in Calgary as he rehabs. Part of this plan involves his parents and long-time girlfriend uprooting their lives in Ontario to move back to Calgary. Hall will also sell his lakeside cottage in Ontario and build a ski chalet just outside Calgary. The doubleheaders totally changed his thinking.

I would love this deal if it were JJ and Hornqvist.

You think that would be the logical decision, right? Wrong. Rutherford will trade Pettersson.
- Rinosaur

Who's taking Jack Johnson? The Tallahassee Warthogs?

You think that would be the logical decision, right? Wrong. Rutherford will trade Pettersson.
- Rinosaur

Agree