Much like most of the blogs, I just had AI write it.
- Atomic Wedgie

Can't lie though... That memerunnergtp shyte has had me in stitches forever now.

no not that.
just referring to when Wedgie was sent to El Salvador for a week
- dmnted

I've told this true Zezzie story before but here goes.

Ex girlfriend used to work at the Ritz in Toronto. One night Leafs manager Brian 'Burkie' Burke is in the bar lounge. She overhears he him saying to his guest 'let's let the Leafs pay for it' as he pulls out his CC.

She came up to him and said Mr. Burke I just want to say that my boyfriend Zezel loves the Leafs, he loves them since he was a little boy. Burke stands up and shakes her hand and says you tell Zezel I said hello.

She brought home a copy of the receipt with his signature on it, but I lost it.

Also at the time, she actually had a brutal shiner that was covered with makeup so for a while afterwards I was kind of worried that Burkie's goons were gonna throw me in a dumpster.

True Zezzie Story

It's not much a story I know but (frank) you

Where is the flag, though?!?
- Whipper

Oh I still have it and bring it out to do up the basement when we have playoff parties.

Jesus!

He's probably the father or grandfather of one of the losers who was fighting other Leaf fans in the rink after the Leafs lost at home in game 7 to Tampa that one year.

Your stories are pretty terrific.

My best Leaf related one is from a playoff game the first year the Leafs finally made it back to the post season.

Game 1 and I'm feeling very little pain but my bladder is full of hurt and needs to be drained. It's mid 3rd period so I tell my wife I'm running down quickly, concessions are closed so it will for sure be quick!

I get out into the concourse in my Leafs gear including a blue and white wig and who do I see walking in a very unstable manner towards me but a short, overweight guy in a suit who is obviously hammered with another young guy who looks terrified trying desperately to keep him upright.

As I get a few feet away he drunkenly slurs his speech while saying "I love your outfit buddy, here have a flag" and hands me a full size Maple Leaf flag.

He then says "If I can ever do anything for you call me" and hands me his business card.

Rob Ford
Mayor of Toronto

The poor young guy looks terrified and says something like Mr Mayor we need to go now before the game lets out. Ford clearly does't want to go but agrees eventually and they wander to the elevator where this poor young guy can't hit the elevator call button fast enough.

Elevator dings and the Mayor is waving at me like a 3 year old at a Santa Claus parade saying "bye buddy GO LEAFS GO" at the top of his lungs.

I laughed so hard I nearly cried. My wife didn't believe the story as I told it when I got back to my seat until I handed her the business card.
- Cush29

Drunk, Leafs, young guy... Scary skit from Kids In The Hall.

Drunk, Leafs, young guy... Scary skit from Kids In The Hall.

- Tee-Dot

lol toootally

I've told this true Zezzie story before but here goes.

Ex girlfriend used to work at the Ritz in Toronto. One night Leafs manager Brian 'Burkie' Burke is in the bar lounge. She overhears he him saying to his guest 'let's let the Leafs pay for it' as he pulls out his CC.

She came up to him and said Mr. Burke I just want to say that my boyfriend Zezel loves the Leafs, he loves them since he was a little boy. Burke stands up and shakes her hand and says you tell Zezel I said hello.

She brought home a copy of the receipt with his signature on it, but I lost it.

Also at the time, she actually had a brutal shiner that was covered with makeup so for a while afterwards I was kind of worried that Burkie's goons were gonna throw me in a dumpster.

True Zezzie Story

It's not much a story I know but (frank) you
- Zezel

Burkie!

My wife ran into him in the path just before playoffs one year and yelled "GO LEAFS GO BURKIE". He stopped dead in his tracks, walked up to her and said "thank you young lady we appreciate your support".

She came home and told me the story and the next year for her birthday I got a Cameo of Burkie and he even retold the story and said "happiest of birthdays young lady".

I was king for a day after that.

Just a day.

Great stories there fellas, Wedgester and Cushster

Burkie!

My wife ran into him in the path just before playoffs one year and yelled "GO LEAFS GO BURKIE". He stopped dead in his tracks, walked up to her and said "thank you young lady we appreciate your support".

She came home and told me the story and the next year for her birthday I got a Cameo of Burkie and he even retold the story and said "happiest of birthdays young lady".

I was king for a day after that.

Just a day.
- Cush29

You got a Cameo of Burkie?! Burke does Cameo? That's hilarious.

At very first glance I thought you were gonna say you got her a Camaro with Burkie, how hardcore would a Burkie Camaro be

I've told this true Zezzie story before but here goes.

Ex girlfriend used to work at the Ritz in Toronto. One night Leafs manager Brian 'Burkie' Burke is in the bar lounge. She overhears he him saying to his guest 'let's let the Leafs pay for it' as he pulls out his CC.

She came up to him and said Mr. Burke I just want to say that my boyfriend Zezel loves the Leafs, he loves them since he was a little boy. Burke stands up and shakes her hand and says you tell Zezel I said hello.

She brought home a copy of the receipt with his signature on it, but I lost it.

Also at the time, she actually had a brutal shiner that was covered with makeup so for a while afterwards I was kind of worried that Burkie's goons were gonna throw me in a dumpster.

True Zezzie Story

It's not much a story I know but (frank) you
- Zezel

i’m acquainted with one of the mlse marketing guys. i’m guessing that the leafs need marketing about as much as their sponsor, milk👍

anyway, he got me up into jfj jr’s skybox for a bit during remembrance day celebrations👍🏿

nice guy 👍

See this is my concern.

Going to a Leafs playoff game is high stakes gambling. A lot of money for an exerience that is going to extremely up or extremely down.
- Zezel

I went to the Leafs Caps series where they lost 6-4 I believe.

Was awesome.

If they win its amazing. If they lose its still a hell of a time.

You got a Cameo of Burkie?! Burke does Cameo? That's hilarious.

At very first glance I thought you were gonna say you got her a Camaro with Burkie, how hardcore would a Burkie Camaro be
- Zezel

IMO the best Camaro is around the early 70's RS/Z28 if I remember but it had to be a split bumper. 'Dem were gorgeous.

You got a Cameo of Burkie?! Burke does Cameo? That's hilarious.

At very first glance I thought you were gonna say you got her a Camaro with Burkie, how hardcore would a Burkie Camaro be
- Zezel

It was when he was with Pittsburgh and he turned it around in like 4 days!

I have had a cameo from Joe Bowen my wife got me.

If any of you know that "be a man" guy I had him do one for a friend who was going through a tough separation/divorce. I wrote the script and he read it verbatim...."Hey Binger (it's my buddies nickname), heard your going through a divorce. Don't cry about not getting laid, just get a nice soft carwash mitt, soap that sucker up and take care of yourself. BE A MAN".

My buddy had tears rolling down his face when he saw it.

Oh and I had Bruce Bodreau do one for another friends b-day.

They are pretty funny but I won't spend a poop tonne on them like you need to if you want the A list celebrates.

i’m acquainted with one of the mlse marketing guys. i’m guessing that the leafs need marketing about as much as their sponsor, milk👍

anyway, he got me up into jfj jr’s skybox for a bit during remembrance day celebrations👍🏿

nice guy 👍
- Skalapy

JFJ JR...

It was when he was with Pittsburgh and he turned it around in like 4 days!

I have had a cameo from Joe Bowen my wife got me.

If any of you know that "be a man" guy I had him do one for a friend who was going through a tough separation/divorce. I wrote the script and he read it verbatim...."Hey Binger (it's my buddies nickname), heard your going through a divorce. Don't cry about not getting laid, just get a nice soft carwash mitt, soap that sucker up and take care of yourself. BE A MAN".

My buddy had tears rolling down his face when he saw it.

Oh and I had Bruce Bodreau do one for another friends b-day.

They are pretty funny but I won't spend a poop tonne on them like you need to if you want the A list celebrates.
- Cush29

Awesome. There's some really funny ones I've seen.

- Tee-Dot

yeah that's a gooder

JFJ JR...

- Zezel

He may have OD'd on alliteration.

T-Minus 2 hrs 10 mins.

T-Minus 2 hrs 10 mins.
- systemtool

Isn't it 530 start, which is more like 550?

T-Minus 2 hrs 10 mins.
- systemtool

730 start tonight

TSN - Will Tkachuk respond article..

This guy seems to be put on a pedestal mostly from his brothers achievements..

Is he a good player yeah but he is not a superstar

Sens may have a Tkachuk but we have a Knies.

Much like most of the blogs, I just had AI write it.
- Atomic Wedgie

My one mistake was writing them with my own mentally diminished brain...and wanting to get my payment that was promised as hilariously small as it would be.

TSN - Will Tkachuk respond article..

This guy seems to be put on a pedestal mostly from his brothers achievements..

Is he a good player yeah but he is not a superstar

Sens may have a Tkachuk but we have a Knies.
- Azuredoom

He's their captain and other than maybe Stutzle, their biggest star, who else would they have to need to respond?

He's their captain and other than maybe Stutzle, their biggest star, who else would they have to need to respond?
- AdamFrench

Ridly "Slap shot into an open net, cross check a guy in the neck and slide into Stollie by accident / on purpose to try and hurt the Leaf goalie" Greig?

I hope that guy gets fed his teeth before this series is over, he's one dirty player.