Her cousin wrote some long thing about how she's always been obsessed with the Kardashians and there's literally no chance she'd ever leave for South America
- PhillySportsGuy

her fake cousin

her fake cousin
- twiztedmike

i have a question for you

I am from Buffalo, but as I got older, moved down into the Southtowns where I went to High School. I met only ONE person from Lockport my entire life, and the only thing I knew about Lockport was Reid's and it was on the way to my Uncle's house up in Newfane...

I moved here on a whim a handful of years ago because of cheap rent... But the cost of living is closer to Amherst than it should be...

Anyway, that ONE person from Lockport could never give a reason for having left, just that he hated it and wanted to get as far away as possible.

At first, it seems like any other suburb or "mini-city" in the area - 20,000+ people is a lot larger than the 5,000 population town I went to high school in... It looks quaint, it's not filthy, and that's about it.

I maddeningly asked an acquaintance while out one night "OH MY GOD WHY THE (frank) ARE YOU PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN SO (frank)ING WEIRD???" and he just shrugged and said "It's Lockport... you either accept it or you don't, we're all (frank)ing weirdos with weird issues."

There is a really disgusting job economy, endless job postings with not even so much as an e-mail response, and you would think it's nepotism but I know locals who can't even get into places their families work at... Jobs are SUPER locked down, mostly in the service sector, and since the DSS moved here, there's a welfare economy.

The cops supposedly start off around 40k per year but no one knows what they do because I NEVER see them pulling someone over, and hardly ever see any cops or vehicles. The occasional K-9 unit and near the cop-shop yeah, but it's baffling...

This town has a lot of closet homosexuals, a lot of white trash, a lot of governmental corruption for such a small town. Women are THIRSTY. There's a shortage of straight d!ck in this town, apparently.

The thing is, the locals worship it and everything in it; They never leave, and very few come here. When you do move here and you aren't from here, you get absolutely GLARED at every time you leave your house... as if they all non-verbally say to you "I DIDN'T GO TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH YOU!" and they GLARE. They just (frank)ing stare at you and have absolutely no manners.

There's an Italian restaurant, a pizza place or a church on every street corner and as for the aforementioned sweet sauce... Yeah, if you're (frank)ing from this town you know about it but if you aren't? Hope you like jam on your pizza.

The roads are in terrible shape - You think you've driven into Salamanca FFS, and my god.... Lockport has the WORST drivers on the planet. They have no concept of the left-lane being the fast lane on a 4-lane highway, so you're usually stuck behind 2 pace cars which are MONSTER pickup trucks (there's seriously more pickup trucks per person per square mile in this town than anywhere else on Earth, I swear) and at night, everyone drives with their brights on.

There's nowhere to go where you don't feel like you're going to get jumped at night, there's nowhere to have fires or walk through the woods (no, a poopty nature trail near the water treatment plant is not that), and it has the absolute worst dive bar in WNY - The Niagara Hotel. I won't even walk on that side of the street, it's such a poop-hole.

They usually find at least 1 body per year when they drain the canal, they act like the locks are the greatest engineering feat of all-time and they act like Buffalo is 2 hours away... "You're going all the way to BUFFALO tonight??? You're crazy man!"

They built a 30 million dollar double-rink ice hockey arena, only to have their junior team, the Lockport Express, relocate to NIAGARA FALLS 2 years later...

The good: The absolute best ice cream place on Earth - Lake Effect Ice Cream; The Palace Theater is gorgeous; Transit Drive-In; Um. That's about it.

Now all I need is a local to come in here telling me I 'don't get Lockport!"
- BeadyEyedDouche

I am from Buffalo, but as I got older, moved down into the Southtowns where I went to High School. I met only ONE person from Lockport my entire life, and the only thing I knew about Lockport was Reid's and it was on the way to my Uncle's house up in Newfane...

I moved here on a whim a handful of years ago because of cheap rent... But the cost of living is closer to Amherst than it should be...

Anyway, that ONE person from Lockport could never give a reason for having left, just that he hated it and wanted to get as far away as possible.

At first, it seems like any other suburb or "mini-city" in the area - 20,000+ people is a lot larger than the 5,000 population town I went to high school in... It looks quaint, it's not filthy, and that's about it.

I maddeningly asked an acquaintance while out one night "OH MY GOD WHY THE (frank) ARE YOU PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN SO (frank)ING WEIRD???" and he just shrugged and said "It's Lockport... you either accept it or you don't, we're all (frank)ing weirdos with weird issues."

There is a really disgusting job economy, endless job postings with not even so much as an e-mail response, and you would think it's nepotism but I know locals who can't even get into places their families work at... Jobs are SUPER locked down, mostly in the service sector, and since the DSS moved here, there's a welfare economy.

The cops supposedly start off around 40k per year but no one knows what they do because I NEVER see them pulling someone over, and hardly ever see any cops or vehicles. The occasional K-9 unit and near the cop-shop yeah, but it's baffling...

This town has a lot of closet homosexuals, a lot of white trash, a lot of governmental corruption for such a small town. Women are THIRSTY. There's a shortage of straight d!ck in this town, apparently.

The thing is, the locals worship it and everything in it; They never leave, and very few come here. When you do move here and you aren't from here, you get absolutely GLARED at every time you leave your house... as if they all non-verbally say to you "I DIDN'T GO TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH YOU!" and they GLARE. They just (frank)ing stare at you and have absolutely no manners.

There's an Italian restaurant, a pizza place or a church on every street corner and as for the aforementioned sweet sauce... Yeah, if you're (frank)ing from this town you know about it but if you aren't? Hope you like jam on your pizza.

The roads are in terrible shape - You think you've driven into Salamanca FFS, and my god.... Lockport has the WORST drivers on the planet. They have no concept of the left-lane being the fast lane on a 4-lane highway, so you're usually stuck behind 2 pace cars which are MONSTER pickup trucks (there's seriously more pickup trucks per person per square mile in this town than anywhere else on Earth, I swear) and at night, everyone drives with their brights on.

There's nowhere to go where you don't feel like you're going to get jumped at night, there's nowhere to have fires or walk through the woods (no, a poopty nature trail near the water treatment plant is not that), and it has the absolute worst dive bar in WNY - The Niagara Hotel. I won't even walk on that side of the street, it's such a poop-hole.

They usually find at least 1 body per year when they drain the canal, they act like the locks are the greatest engineering feat of all-time and they act like Buffalo is 2 hours away... "You're going all the way to BUFFALO tonight??? You're crazy man!"

They built a 30 million dollar double-rink ice hockey arena, only to have their junior team, the Lockport Express, relocate to NIAGARA FALLS 2 years later...

The good: The absolute best ice cream place on Earth - Lake Effect Ice Cream; The Palace Theater is gorgeous; Transit Drive-In; Um. That's about it.

Now all I need is a local to come in here telling me I 'don't get Lockport!"
- BeadyEyedDouche
- ImThatGuy

wow.






i would like to know more about the ice cream place though.

wow.






i would like to know more about the ice cream place though.
- kicksave856

the proper response is

SuCK IT, BEADY!

SuCK IT, BEADY!

I am from Buffalo, but as I got older, moved down into the Southtowns where I went to High School. I met only ONE person from Lockport my entire life, and the only thing I knew about Lockport was Reid's and it was on the way to my Uncle's house up in Newfane...

I moved here on a whim a handful of years ago because of cheap rent... But the cost of living is closer to Amherst than it should be...

Anyway, that ONE person from Lockport could never give a reason for having left, just that he hated it and wanted to get as far away as possible.

At first, it seems like any other suburb or "mini-city" in the area - 20,000+ people is a lot larger than the 5,000 population town I went to high school in... It looks quaint, it's not filthy, and that's about it.

I maddeningly asked an acquaintance while out one night "OH MY GOD WHY THE (frank) ARE YOU PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN SO (frank)ING WEIRD???" and he just shrugged and said "It's Lockport... you either accept it or you don't, we're all (frank)ing weirdos with weird issues."

There is a really disgusting job economy, endless job postings with not even so much as an e-mail response, and you would think it's nepotism but I know locals who can't even get into places their families work at... Jobs are SUPER locked down, mostly in the service sector, and since the DSS moved here, there's a welfare economy.

The cops supposedly start off around 40k per year but no one knows what they do because I NEVER see them pulling someone over, and hardly ever see any cops or vehicles. The occasional K-9 unit and near the cop-shop yeah, but it's baffling...

This town has a lot of closet homosexuals, a lot of white trash, a lot of governmental corruption for such a small town. Women are THIRSTY. There's a shortage of straight d!ck in this town, apparently.

The thing is, the locals worship it and everything in it; They never leave, and very few come here. When you do move here and you aren't from here, you get absolutely GLARED at every time you leave your house... as if they all non-verbally say to you "I DIDN'T GO TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH YOU!" and they GLARE. They just (frank)ing stare at you and have absolutely no manners.

There's an Italian restaurant, a pizza place or a church on every street corner and as for the aforementioned sweet sauce... Yeah, if you're (frank)ing from this town you know about it but if you aren't? Hope you like jam on your pizza.

The roads are in terrible shape - You think you've driven into Salamanca FFS, and my god.... Lockport has the WORST drivers on the planet. They have no concept of the left-lane being the fast lane on a 4-lane highway, so you're usually stuck behind 2 pace cars which are MONSTER pickup trucks (there's seriously more pickup trucks per person per square mile in this town than anywhere else on Earth, I swear) and at night, everyone drives with their brights on.

There's nowhere to go where you don't feel like you're going to get jumped at night, there's nowhere to have fires or walk through the woods (no, a poopty nature trail near the water treatment plant is not that), and it has the absolute worst dive bar in WNY - The Niagara Hotel. I won't even walk on that side of the street, it's such a poop-hole.

They usually find at least 1 body per year when they drain the canal, they act like the locks are the greatest engineering feat of all-time and they act like Buffalo is 2 hours away... "You're going all the way to BUFFALO tonight??? You're crazy man!"

They built a 30 million dollar double-rink ice hockey arena, only to have their junior team, the Lockport Express, relocate to NIAGARA FALLS 2 years later...

The good: The absolute best ice cream place on Earth - Lake Effect Ice Cream; The Palace Theater is gorgeous; Transit Drive-In; Um. That's about it.

Now all I need is a local to come in here telling me I 'don't get Lockport!"
- BeadyEyedDouche
- ImThatGuy

And the best response goes to:

What kind of person moves to Lockport "on a whim" then stays there for years only to have a mental breakdown about his life decisions on hockeybuzz? Maybe move?

Rent must be free or something. Do you get internet access free as well? I can just imagine you sitting at a library computer terminal feverously typing away this manifesto.
-Angler

Love, love, love Hextall, but this move was necessary. He did very good, not great with the draft, rebuilt the Phantoms and created depth in the organization through drafting etc. But he let too many opportunities for players on the trade market to pass by. Can't survive managing an NHL team through drafting alone. Have to acquire a piece here & there when the young players don't reach their potential. Plus they needed more veteran stability than what is currently on the roster - which BTW, WAS a team effort / failure. Homer is as much to blame as Hextall. Voracek, MacDonald and Ghost are not strong enough players on their own to anchor the roster. Getting back to Hextall, his biggest mistake was resigning Neuvirth, who is a great guy no doubt, but his body had long quit on him. This had a ripple effect of overplaying Elliott, who has suffered two injuries as a result of overuse. But before those injuries, Hakstol made things worse by continuing to play Elliott even when Neuvirth returned from the IR. This is another case, just like Berube, where the #1 got overused. Back to the goalies, when their performance dropped off, could not back stop the rookie d men's mistakes. And this has effected their confidence, notably Provorov. A good goalie would erase most of those mistakes, and save their confidence. But this has spread from Provorov to Ghost, and now to the rest of the d men (except for Sanheim & Gudas). Hextall also protected 3 players in the expansion draft that are no longer on the club. The most interesting of the three are Filpula and Manning, both of which got released the following season for no compensation. Those two were valuable for 2017-18, but I argue that Bellemawr was MORE valuable - the best penalty killer on the team. The PK has been broken since he left - and has not been addressed by the draft, trade or free agent markets. I like to play armchair GM at home. My idea was to protect 8 skaters, rather than 7-3-1, leaving Manning & Filpula exposed. Filpula had just been bought out by Yzerman at 5 mill. That would not have been attractive to Vegas, and would have likely not been picked. Losing Manning was a reasonable risk, with Morin playing so well - who did not make the team? Still wondering how that happened.
These moves/non moves backed Hexy into a corner, ultimately sealing his fate.
- [email protected]

[quote=kicksave856]
(frank)in Daniel Meintel

[quote=basementfloor]
it's cool how he (frank)ed up his first ever paragraph break there at the bottom.

[quote=kicksave856]

wow.






i would like to know more about the ice cream place though.
- kicksave856

It really is phenomenal but don't tell that guy they have another location in North Buffalo...

Lockport in a nutshell to me:
"(frank) Commie Democrats and their universal health care!!!" "Come to my fundraiser for my kid's medical costs!!!!!!!!"

I've never met someone that understood me on the level that you do... Wow... My whole life ive been abandoned by everyone i loved. Everyone i thought that loved me.. I've blown loads in less than 1.5 minutes on many difference occasions. I've never really found my way in life.. Im a lost boy.. A sad boy... A boy with no hope, no love, no opportunity to better my circumstance. I cant begin to tell you how much i appreciate your understanding of my hardships.. The amount of gratitude i have towards you has no bounds. Maybe one day i can grow up to be a powerful, intelligent, funny, and likable person like you. You are truly a role model we can all look up to and the hockey boards can learn from. Some dont know how fortunate they are to be so brilliant in this one life we have. You sir are an icon. You need to spread your message and humble more people in this world. Your words of wisdom and wealth of knowledge needs to be heard by the billions walking this earth. I cannot thank you enough Spatso for helping me understand the sad, sad individual i have become. Let this be a turning point in my life. Allow me to beg for forgiveness and use this negative to create a positive outcome. I will never forget you Spatso. Never. You have made an ever lasting impact on my life from now till my last day. May the high powers bless you in all your future walks of this beautiful life we live.
- Burkefection

[quote=kicksave856]

lol

w
t
f

[quote=Streit2ThePoint]
bad troll reacting badly to being called out on trolling badly.


i think. i didn't really read the whole thing. i just like when someone flails around like this.

bad troll reacting badly to being called out on trolling badly.


i think. i didn't really read the whole thing. i just like when someone flails around like this.
- kicksave856

I should get back in the trolling game. It's been a while.

I should get back in the trolling game. It's been a while.
- prock

Only thing is




You really suck at it.

Only thing is




You really suck at it.
- WaterBoy

- dt99999

i didn't want to say anything.

Only thing is




You really suck at it.
- WaterBoy

Only thing is




You really suck at it.
- WaterBoy

It's a go then.

Only thing is




You really suck at it.
- WaterBoy

lol

wait..he thinks he left the trolling game?

True Wedgie story:

Once upon a time, I entered a hockey pool at a large company (I wasn't an employee, but I was allowed to enter, as I had a few buddies there).

This was a while ago - I think there were 26 teams in the NHL at the time.

The pool was interesting: you had to take (iirc) 15 forwards, 8 defencemen, 2 goalies...and one goon. And you could only take one player from each NHL team.

Forwards and D: 1 point for every point.

Goalies: 2 pts for a win, and maybe 5 points for a shutout? Doesn't matter.

And the goon: 1 point for each point, and 1 point for every 10 pts in penalty minutes.

There were probably over 100 entries. Most people took Domi or Probert or some other goon as their goon.

But there were about 5 of us who figured out a better way, and took Shanny or Nolan.

Well, about 3 weeks in, the others who had donated their $50 realized that they had been stupid - they had no hope of winning. People started complaining via emails - but since I wasn't at at the company, I couldn't tell them to go eff themselves, not my fault they didn't figure it out.

The guy running it eventually let a select few people change - and I positively lost my poop. It was only later that they explained to me that the people who got to change were still going to come in dead last.

I ended up winning the pool, and it paid for my patio furniture.

Thank you, Shanny.
- Atomic Wedgie

..

Are you telling me there was a "goon" spot, but you could just take any player in that spot?


Like you could have taken (frank)ing Brett Hull... who cares if he doesn't take penalties?
- Scabeh

..

Abso-franking-lutely.

Once you figured it out, it was franking glorious.


But human nature being what it was, people saw "goon" and almost everyone picked Domi - because at the time, he was wracking up PIM, and he was chipping in a few points.

Let's say it was the 96-97 season:

Domi: 28 points from points, 275 PIM, so an additional 28 points. Total: 56 points

Shanny: 87 points, plus an additional 13 points from his 131 PIM: 100 points.

Even with 26 players, a 44 point differential on one selection was huge.

Oh poop, I just remembered: it was the year that Ottawa first made the playoffs.

Confirmed: 1996-97

A friend had 4 tix for the final game of the year (or at least final weekend) in Ottawa. The visiting goalie was Hasek for the Sabres.

(Side note: holy poop, the internet is great: 04/12/97 - final weekend).

I figured the only way I could lose 1st place in the pool was if Hasek got the shutout, so I was really happy to be at the game.

The place was a mad house, because if the Sens won, they made the playoffs for the first time.

It was 0-0 until 15:59 of the 3rd, when Ottawa scored to make it 1-0 (I cheated by looking up the box score):

https://www.hockey-refere...xscores/199704120OTT.html

I went absolutely franking berserk - dancing on the stairs in my section, next to some 80 year old guy celebrating the Senators. They put me on the Jumbotron (him, really, but I was still in the shot!), and thousands of Sens fans thought I was happy for them.

I wasn't.

I was happy for Wedgie.

Only for Wedgie.

Good times.
- Atomic Wedgie

and we have a new contender for the ultimate DGTBG