Well The Jets Hockey Buzzards seem Hungry for some Hot Takes so let’s cook it up like Ibaka.
It’s hot- here’s an Ice Water- which is exactly what Hellybuck needs to have running through his veins in a return to forum this season. Helly needs to bounce back from a decent year and get back to his top 5 status. I hope to see him wearing his signature magician coat again at the NHL awards. A lacklustre season from him will obviously kill home ice or worse. Take a big drink, as I believe Helly will be back to his weird and wonderful self.
White Wine? Seems to be lots of whining coming out of that room. Is there another issue? They rallied after Toby threw Kane’s poop in the shower and Buff covered for him. Is there another Evander in that room that needs to go? There’s a bad Wheel in there, throwing off the alignment.
Frosty Glass of Keith’s? Old heavy Reliable. That’s Buff. The big guy will have a huge year. Speaking from experience, when you are that big and get hurt with high miles on the odometer it takes time to get it back. He’s obviously my guy, but when he’s on his game I think everyone can agree he’s still top 5 in the league of players that can actually change a game single handily. To use a term Tanner hates, Buff is still a Gamechanger. He will retire a Jet.
Deep Fried Pickles? One of my favs- but the Pickle Chevy is in with possible offer sheets isn’t good. I had written off the offer sheet as a legitimate possibility until this summer. It just didn’t happen. But... Brian Burke and Kevin Lowe never did fight in a barn, and Bergy did just do a favour for his agent buddy, so is it a real threat? Heads up Chevy.
How bout some Baked Flounder with Tie sauce? That’s PeeMo currently in my not so humble opinion. His decisions at times are baked, the team seems to flounder around when he can’t figure it out, but he clearly has ties to the organization. I watched his tenure with the Leafs closely and see a more experienced, well spoken, but stubborn coach still in Maurice. I think it’s time to cut bait and let him wash up in Seattle.
T Bone Steak- Lets get to the Meat here. After the underwhelming return for Trouba (I will concede he’s going to be ghastly overpaid in NY, but hey it’s what they do, there’s a network called “Yes” FFS and Don LaGreca is a beautiful human being). But trading Trouba for a mulligan on Ham Fisted Hayes and Neil Peanuts was downright angering to me even though I will admit I have called Trouba overrated. Well he’s damn well better than that return. To get to the bone: has ownership put the brakes on any “Big” moves by Chevy? Do they not trust the recent moves? (I don’t) Are they considering replacing both Kevin and Paul? I believe they are at least considering it, which has them in a reactionary holding pattern that hasn’t seemed to be working of late. Chipman- if you need to go take a dump, we will support it, just use the bathroom in the boathouse please.
Another Drink? I need one after that. How bout a Yeager Bomb? Yeah no thanks. That’s what the Tanev contract from Rudderless over in Pitt is akin to. I liked Tanev, but I’m passing on that one.
For Dessert: Classic Pilsbury Turonovers. Done right these things are gold. With Myers gone there will be far less turnovers to share so get em while there’re hot. I can only hope the Turnover of the Jets roster makes us say Hoo Hoo! (The clip on YouTube of the 80’s commercial where Doughboy laughs so hard he poops icing would never make it to television these days and I highly recommended it)
Enjoy your evening and be sure to tip your server, his name is Dion and there’s no way he’s going be be a Jet. Thanks
- Byfuglien Ate Me
Kudos. Excellent effort Buff !