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Last night was a new low in a season that requires all the patience of.....well, of a Coyotes fan. Cause if you're still one of those after all these years, you deserve a some kind of trophy.

But you ain't getting it for last nights game. If it was a game. It looked more like a men's team that won a once-in-a-life-time chance to hit the ice against an NHL team.

Here's all you need to know about the game: 1) the Coyotes had zero shots in the second period and four in the first. 2) After the game, new majority owner Andrew Barroway tried to get his money back.


Anyways, here is a list of things you could have done instead of watching the game last night or that you could do now instead of talking about it:

1. Go the the store and buy the new Drake CD

That's what I'm gonna do as soon as I submit this bad-boy. The Drakester is often considered "teen pop" in the vein of Katy Perry or whatever by people who've never heard more than a radio-hit or two.

The fact is, Drake is a serious adult artist for adults. He is a deep, interesting, skilled on the mic and comes with tons of complexities and contradictions. He is one of the most important artists making music today and if his latest is as solid as his first two then today will be a great day for music fans.

2. Take the Highway to the Danger-Zone

By which of course I mean re-watch Top Gun. I did this on the weekend and it was magnificent. Often overlooked in the Tom Cruise catalogue , Top Gun is a magnificent spectacle of acting, writing, direction, planes and of course, unibrows.

Having not seen the film since I was a young Ace, I was immediately drawn in by the power and depth of Maverick's unibrow. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hold high metrosexual values: I am one denim jacket away from being an honorary member of Fleet Foxes, but I have to say, I was shocked that the male sex-symbol of my generation made one of his most famous movies with a single eye-brow. Maybe it's just the high-def TV - who knows?

Eitherway, it didn't make it any easier when (SPOILER ALERT) Ol' Goose bought the farm. Seriously, that was some sad stuff. I totally forgot about the fate of Goose and I wish I had better prepared myself because it made me cry like a little girl.

Perhaps it is the overuse of the Kenny Loggins theme, but this movie not only has a surprising amount of emotional depth, but it is also a study in psychology akin to Grant Morrison's Arkham Asylum. In the beginning scenes Mav makes a daring attempt at pranking his enemy by flying upside down over their plane and giving them the finger. Ol' Goose commemorates this move with a sweet Polaroid, but later we learn that, as Couger's wingman, Maverick never should have been there.

Now, Mav risks his own life to guide Cougar back to the base when he panics and almost loses it, so at first we think Maverick is a hero - but once the Iceman puts it in perspective for us by pointing out that Cougar would have been fine if his wingman didn't ditch him to show off, we are given a much more complex Maverick to consider. Cruise then spends the rest of the movie chasing an older lady - a cougar - creating one of the most interesting psychological subtexts in film history.

Overall I have to give Top Gun five out of five on the Riggs/Murtaugh scale.


3. You could go shop for a new Jean-Jacket

Now that I mention it, this is a good plan to get my mind off of hockey. While out picking up the new Drake album, you (theoretically, at least) could stop by the Goodwill and see if they have any good denim jackets in stock.

Finding a good denim coat is a very tricky process. First of all, you don't want a new one. A new denim jacket is about as usefull as Martin Erat on the power-play. No, you want your denim coat to be slightly used and worn. If you buy a new one and its all stiff and stuff you might as well just pop your collar and shop at the mall or something.

But this does present its own set of problems: There is like ten feet of snow on the ground outside my house and it's way too damn cold to wear a jean-jacket. I don't consider fur-lines JJs to be an acceptable winter alternative either - I'm not an animal. However, if I wait until the spring to get one, all the good ones will be gone. And, even if I do find a good one, I won't be able to contain myself until spring and I'll probably pop it on and end up freezing. I will look cool as (expletive deleted) but I will also be cold. Tough call.

If I can't find one, I suppose I could always go back to the one I've been wearing for the last ten years, but its getting as thin as one of Riggs' leads.

First world problems, am I right?

Thanks for reading.

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