Joffrey Lupul once called him "Mr. Glass."

Martin Hanzal mocks how injury prone he is.

Yes, Antti Raanta is as fragile as he is awesome.

He stuns you with his all-world talent, then trips on the way to the bathroom and has to get his knee replaced.

So it is with no surprise that I present to you the latest release from the Arizona Coyotes P.R department:

INJURY UPDATE: #Coyotes goaltender Antti Raanta is listed as day-to-day with a lower body injury.

— Arizona Coyotes (@ArizonaCoyotes) September 26, 2019

Now, if I was an Arizona Coyotes loyalist, stooge and sycophant, I might take this clear admission of an injury and try to tell you it's actually a great thing that proves how tough Raanta is.



I might just say that everything you hear and see that is clearly true is just propaganda from the Mighty Ducks or LA Kings. I would then release actual proof of the injury and then inexplicably deny it.

"Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thought-crime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it."

Long Live Antti Raanta, the least injury prone goalie in town!

And if it turns out he can't play?

Then in the end, there never was an Antti Raanta. Darcey Kuemper had always played for the Coyotes and he always would.


Long Live Darcey Kuemper

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